Alec Baldwin's Trump Calls San Juan Mayor "Nasty Woman" in 'SNL' Opener

"It may seem like what's coming out of my mouth is b-a-n-a-n-a-s, but it's all part of the plan. The more chaos I cause, the less people can focus. They're all getting so tired."
Screengrab/'Saturday Night Live'
'Saturday Night Live'

Alec Baldwin's impression of President Donald Trump returned to Saturday Night Live to kick off season 43 with a bang in the show's cold open.

Taking a phone call from San Juan Mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz (played by Melissa Villasenor) in Puerto Rico, Trump tells her she's called the right person for help. "Trust me I know things are, as the locals say, 'despacito,'" he says, referencing the dire situation the country is in after Hurricane Maria struck the island a few weeks ago.

Trump promises her country help by the middle of this week, but Cruz tells him that's not good enough. "You should have paid your bills," he tells her. 

"Ma'am, I don't know if you know this, but you are on an island, in the water. We want to help you, but we have to take care of America first," he adds. "Wait — you do know we're a U.S. territory, don't you?" Cruz asks.  

Looking shocked, Baldwin as Trump stammers, "I mean, I do, but not many people know that." Hanging up on Cruz, he mutters, "Wow, that woman was so nasty."

Later on in the show, Michael Che would also roast the president for his response to the situation in Puerto Rico. During the "Weekend Update" segment, Che read through Trump’s Twitter attack on Cruz, before offering his thoughts: “Oh really, Donald? You bitch! Let me ask you, are you shaking? You wanna go smoke a Virginia Slim until your hands stop moving? This isn’t that complicated, man. This is hurricane relief. These people need help. You just did this for white people twice! Do the same thing. Go tell Melania to put on her flood heels, get some bottled water, some food, pack up some extra Atlanta Falcons Super Bowl t-shirts and write them a check with our money, you cheap cracker!”

The crisis in Puerto Rico was not the only recent snafu at which SNL took aim. President Trump made headlines throughout the week for tweeting in opposition to NFL players who protested racial injustice by kneeling during the national anthem last Sunday.

To that end, Baldwin's Trump tells Aidy Bryant's Sarah Huckabee Sanders that he likes the way she handled "that NFL thing." 

"I'm a little embarrassed that I said it was a black and white issue," she tells him. "I should have said it was a black versus white issue." Trump then tells her that he could have been an NFL player. "I'm combative, I like to win and I might have a degenerative brain disease," he explains, adding, "and believe me, it may seem like what's coming out of my mouth is b-a-n-a-n-a-s, but it's all part of the plan. The more chaos I cause, the less people can focus. They're all getting so tired."

Kate McKinnon also reprised her role as Jeff Sessions to plead with the president not to tweet.

Baldwin was fresh off his best supporting actor in a comedy series win at the Emmys for the role.

It was announced earlier in September that Baldwin would reprise his Trump character for the season opener. The actor told Ellen DeGeneres during an appearance on her show that he planned to continue doing the part, schedule permitting. “I'd love to keep doing this per my availability, but I have other things I'm going to do, so I guess we'll figure it out,” explained Baldwin. “If I'm doing a film [a Lamborghini biopic opposite Antonio Banderas] in Rome in the fall, you can bet I'm going to be on a satellite from Rome doing Trump.”

Ryan Gosling hosted Saturday's show, while Jay-Z appeared as the musical guest.

Watch the cold open below.

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