Cecily Strong's Jeanine Pirro Loses Her Mind Over Mueller Report in 'SNL' Spoof

At one point, Pirro called Attorney General William Barr a "USDA-certified sex machine who can wax that ass from dusk until dawn."
Screengrab/NBC
'SNL'

It was a busy Saturday for Jeanine Pirro.

The Fox News personality returned to the network Saturday evening after serving a suspension for making Islamophobic comments about Muslim congresswoman Ilhan Omar earlier this month. Her likeness also appeared later on Saturday Night Live, when Cecily Strong appeared on "Weekend Update" as Pirro.

"I'm Judge Jeanine Pirro, and it's up to you to decide just what my whole deal is,” Strong’s Pirro said to Colin Jost at the top of segment. "This Mueller report completely exonerated the president and therefore everybody on the Trump train. Woo woo! So somebody at Fox News said my name into a bathroom mirror three times and here I am."

She then took a minute to shout-out to her "super fans," namely, "mean, horny men laying on in-home hospital beds and white prison gangs who control the remote on Saturdays."

When asked if she really thinks Attorney General William Barr’s four-page summary of the Mueller report exonerates Trump, Pirro said, "It's crystal clear! No collusion, no obstruction. The report concludes that the president is 35 years old and 175 pounds. He's got the rugged good looks of Bradley Cooper and he smells like steak and complementary bathroom cologne. And he's a USDA-certified sex machine who can wax that ass from dusk until dawn."

Then, when Jost suggested that Trump could close the border with Mexico this week, Strong's Pirro fell headfirst out of her chair. She exclaimed excitedly: "Wow, oh, I just get so damn excited about Trump unleashed, woah mama. Oh yeah, he's getting rid of Jussie Smollett and he's bringing back Roseanne! Yeah, she's going to have her own show called The Barrs and it's going to be Roseanne and William Barr and the dirtiest couch you've ever seen, and they're calling 'em like they see 'em and they're taking all the damn Ambien they want, period!"

Pirro completely lost it again at Jost's mention that Trump hopes to launch an investigation into "both Obama and Hillary Clinton."

Watch the full clip below.