Conan Travels to Greenland to Investigate Trump's Real Estate Plans: "Hi, I'm Here to Buy Your Country"

Conan_Greenland Special - Publicity - H 2019
Courtesy of Team Coco

In the latest installment of Conan Without Borders, TBS late-night host Conan O'Brien follows up on President Trump's expression of interest in purchasing Greenland by traveling to the island and speaking to locals about their opinions on becoming part of the United States. The overwhelming response he receives is that the community is happy the way things are.

This overseas adventure was teased by Conan in a tweet last month, "I may have to go to Greenland now and kick the tires on this deal."

At the top of the show, Conan declares, "As the elder statesman of late night, what if I negotiated the [Greenland] deal?" He adds, "I have as much, if note more, negotiating experience as Trump. I mean, come on, an 11 o'clock time slot on TBS? You don't just get that, ladies and gentleman."

He continues, "Tonight I get some advice in buying Greenland from a top real estate team." Canadian brothers John and Drew Scott, known by way of their TV show, The Property Brothers, are then shown onscreen, giving suggestions for how to improve Greenland. "I would knock out this glacier, just to give a more open concept plan, and add a kitchen island, definitely do a fire pit in the back with lots of seating, and if you want, maybe knock this mountain out of here so you'd have more natural light coming in from the north side." 

The late-night host adds, "To complete the deal, I realized I had to travel to Greenland myself." But before that could take place, Conan had to confirm the location of Greenland on a world map and learn about its history. Upon arriving in the capitol city of Nuuk, Conan introduces himself to locals with the greeting, "Hi, I'm here to buy your country."

Talking to a local who acts as Conan's tour guide, the late-night host inquires about the interest in Trump purchasing Greenland, to which the local woman explains that she is not excited. "What's wrong with us, we're a great country," Conan says. "But you're all fat," she replies. Conan proceeds to explain what a "terrible" misconception that is about Americans. "Only 90 percent of Americans are fat," he jokes. 

At Conan's hotel, he asks the staff if they are at all excited about becoming part of the United States. They also respond with a "no." One man on the street gives a reason for his disinterest in joining the U.S.; "I don't want Donald Trump to be my president." 

Conan later eats local food, such as seal meat, and during the meal asks some children whether Trump is talked about in school and if the potential Greenland purchase is considered a joke. When they say that it is, Conan exclaims, "You think I'd travel all this way for a joke?" before confirming that's exactly what he did. 

In another part of the show, Conan is interviewed by the local television station and airline, in which he gives a weather report in the Greenlandic language, makes jokes about his love of breakfast cereal and being inspired by the Kellogg family and his love of Greenland's signature fried fish. 

Conan goes on to work with a realtor to get Greenland on the market, and Parliament members to begin negotiations. He jokes that the sale price is 1 trillion dollars, and that he should receive a cut. Unable to strike a deal, Conan meets a 24-year-old member of Parliament and compares her achievement at a young age to the journey of Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. 

"I don't like most of Trump's ideas, I think this might be a good one," Conan tells a group of high school students. He gifts them a hat emblazoned with the words, "Make America Greenland Also."

Heading north after failing to seal the deal on the purchase of Greenland, Conan marvels at icebergs while out on the water. Before his flight home, he buys a waterfront property — a mini iceberg that now houses a "SOLD" sign. 

Conan first started airing Conan Without Borders specials in 2015 with a visit to Cuba following former President Obama's call to restore diplomatic ties with the nation.

In other episodes, he has visited Mexico, Israel, Haiti, Italy and Korea, on his quest for adventure in far-flung destinations. 

Watch clips from the Greenland episode below.