8:48pm PT by Dave Nemetz
'Game of Thrones' Grim Reaper Report: Don't Give Peace a Chance
[Warning: This story contains spoilers for episode seven, season six of HBO's Game of Thrones, "The Broken Man."]
Every week on Game of Thrones, someone dies … and unfortunately, it's rarely the person viewers want to see dead. Here, in the Grim Reaper Report, THR tallies up the fatalities from each week's episode, and selects who we'd rather see going to that King's Landing in the sky.
This week, we almost couldn't believe our eyes: We almost got through an entire Game of Thrones episode without anyone being ruthlessly murdered. We shouldn't have worried, though; a last-minute slaughter meant that life in Westeros was still cruel and pointless — and it gave a familiar face a new reason to get busy killin'.
A whole camp full of peaceful hill folk, as we discovered the Hound himself, Sandor Clegane, is alive and well. Having somehow survived his epic battle with Brienne of Tarth back in season four, the Hound was now helping the hill folk and their spiritual leader, Brother Ray (Hi, Ian McShane!), build a humble house of worship.
Ray wasn't quite as preachy as the High Sparrow, but he did push for nonviolence to an absurd degree. In fact, he was one bo staff away from being a Thrones version of Morgan from The Walking Dead. Take that hippie talk somewhere else, buddy!
Alas, Ray's pacifism bit him in the butt when a trio of tough-guy enforcers arrived on horseback, demanding payment. Ray didn't give them anything, despite the Hound's warnings. Then the Hound returned from chopping wood to find the entire camp murdered, and Ray hanging from the rafters they'd just built. As if the Hound needs another reason to seek bloody vengeance, right?
Also, our sweet little Arya nearly died (!) when that damn Waif girl from the Faceless Men snuck up disguised as an old woman and stabbed Arya a few times in the gut, Red Wedding-style. First of all, Arya, you know these people can shape-shift. Trust no one! Really, after this and Snow White, no one should trust any sweet old ladies they don't know. Punch them in the face first, just to be safe.
But honestly, the Waif kind of blew it here. She had a chance to really finish off Arya, and she let her get away (severely wounded, but still). We have a feeling she'll get her just deserts from Arya — or maybe even from the Hound! We have an idea where he can plunge that ax of his …
Who Should've Died?
The Waif, obviously. And those three marauders who wiped out the Hound's camp. Plus, we got an unwelcome blast from the past when Walder Frey's bastard (in every sense of the word) son Black Walder — aka the guy who slit Catelyn Stark's throat — showed up at Riverrun demanding the Blackfish hand over the castle. Luckily, the Blackfish didn't give in, and Jaime and his massive army (including Bronn!) put Black Walder in his place. See what this show does to us? We're actually rooting for a Lannister.
And we don't want to see either of them die, per se, but we would love to witness a take-no-prisoners verbal smackdown between Cersei and Lady Olenna. It was clear this week there's no love lost between these two formidable ice queens, and their bitchy sparring matches are truly a joy to behold. Maybe instead of a traditional trial by combat, Cersei can battle Lady Olenna in a war of cutting insults. (Extra points if you're smiling while you say it.) That'd be more fun to watch than another round of blood and guts, right?
Game of Thrones airs Sundays at 9 p.m. on HBO.