11:43am PT by Evan Real
James Corden's "News Team" Is Determined to Figure Out #WhoBitBeyonce
Beyonce’s biter is still on the loose — and no one is more concerned than James Corden, Helen Hunt and their “elite investigative news team,” aka “senior analyst” Chris O’Dowd and “man on the street” Ben Schwartz.
The foursome attempted to crack the case during a sketch on Thursday’s Late Late Show. "It's the evening. It's CBS. It's CBS This Evening,” Corden said with a straight face, while Hunt dryly declared that “the search continues” for the alleged actress who, as Tiffany Haddish claimed in a recent GQ interview, sunk her teeth into Queen Bey during an industry party.
"That's right," Corden said. "It's been five days since this story was first reported, and with every additional day that passes, this is quickly becoming one of the greatest unsolved mysteries of our time."
Agreed Hunt, "Indeed. At this point, there are only two worlds that exist: The world before March 26, 2018, and the world after March 26, 2018 — or whenever you saw the story trending on Twitter."
As Schwartz pointed out during the report, a handful of actresses have already issued denials in response to the Beyhive’s theories about who attacked the Grammy winner. "The denials keep rolling in, and as of now, Lena Dunham, Jennifer Lawrence and Frances McDormand have all denied biting Beyonce,” he said from his post in downtown Los Angeles.
Back in the studio, Hunt insisted that she is innocent as well — even though her name hasn’t been thrown in the mix: “Helen Hunt has also denied biting Beyonce.”
That’s when a couple questions crossed Corden’s mind. "If she did bite Beyonce, how would she do it? And what would it taste like?” the late-night host asked, to which Schwartz quipped back, “Lemonade, probably.”
O’Dowd then provided a chart to illustrate the data he gathered in an effort to nail down the culprit. "As you can see from this chart, these are the ladies — all of the single ladies. Now, to the left, to the left, everything we know is in a box to the left,” he said, quoting Beyonce herself, before finally admitting that "everything we know" is "still nothing."
Moments later, though, Corden yelled, "This just in! The person who bit Beyonce was actually —” But, unfortunately, the report faded to black.