12:07pm PT by Katherine Schaffstall
James Corden Recaps First Seven Seasons of 'Game of Thrones' in Four Minutes
Before Game of Thrones returns for its final season, James Corden gave viewers of CBS' The Late Late Show a four-minute rhyming recap of the HBO series.
"King Robert died on the Iron Throne, but Cersei would not be alone. Jaime Lannister made his sister his bae. Turns out it's not only kings that he slays," began Corden.
He added that Daenerys married Khal Drogo, played by Aquaman star Jason Momoa. "All of these houses, it's hard to keep straight," Corden continued. "Did that kid just breastfeed? I swear he's, like, 8."
"Bran Stark became a cripple. Two dudes shaved their nipples. Khal Drago fell apart. Dany ate a horse's heart," he quickly recapped. Other highlights from the first season included Jon Snow's departure and Sansa's crush on Joffrey that ended when he killed her father.
Corden quickly moved on to recap season two. "Jon Snow met some wildlings, one that was hot. Then he met the White Walkers who were decidedly not," he began. "The bad guys marched South to make mankind fall, but unlike Trump, the North has a wall."
The recap also included the Red Wedding that turned into a battle to gain control over the mythical land of Westeros. "Robb, Talisa and Catelyn, they're dead," he said. "That scene was so brutal, caused me to start drinking. George R.R. Martin, what the hell were you thinking?"
"Joffrey was poisoned after taking a gulp. The mountain squashed Viper's head to a pulp. Tyrion's dad stole his chick, so he killed them both, then joined up with Khaleesi for personal growth," Corden explained. He added that Jon Snow got promoted, while Cersei got power-hungry.
"The internet went, 'You know nothing, Jon Snow,'" the host said. "Boy, am I glad I stole HBO Go."
Corden next recapped the Battle of the Bastards, which took place in the sixth season. "But then Sansa fed Ramsey to his own pet. Melisandre brought Jon Snow back from the dead. Turns out she's not as young as she once said," he continued. "No other scene made me cry more. You know his name. 'Hodor. Hodor. Hodor.'" The reference was to the character's brutal death.
The host added that Sansa and Arya eventually reunited, though the reunion he mentioned was on a segment of Carpool Karaoke: The Series.
Other highlights shared by Corden included Euron's romantic interest in Cersei and Ed Sheeran's cameo. He then teased the series' final season premiere on Sunday: "For fans of the show, the haze is starting to clear. In just four more days, winter is here!"
Following the recap, Corden gave credit to The Late Late Show writer Lawrence Dai for writing the segment.
"We asked Lawrence if he would write a recap of this, and he told us he has never seen a single episode of Game of Thrones," explained Corden. He said that instead of finding another writer to pen the segment, they had Dai watch all 67 episodes of the show.
The host then shared a clip of Dai's two-day binge session of the series, which the show's crew documented. After Dai watched the first episode, he said, "Some guy just like killed a kid. It was really messed up."
Dai shared his thoughts at the end of many of the episodes. After watching the second episode of season one, he said that Joffrey "kind of sucks, but I did get to see Aquaman's butt, so that's kind of cool."
Dai's co-worker Nate later stopped by to give him a "Red Wedding cake," though the writer had not watched the episode yet and was confused by the reference.
"I'm still processing what happened to Ned Stark. I mean, do I even want to commit to a show that's going to do its main characters like that?" he said during one break from the binge session.
A montage followed of Dai being joined by a number of guests as he watched the show. The writer was visited by a doctor that gave him an IV fluid drip to stay hydrated, while his mother also stopped by to bring him a home-cooked meal. Her timing was less than ideal, and the two watched a sex scene together.
The bingeing session began to take a toll on Dai when he said that he was "so delirious" that he was hallucinating that Sheeran was on the show.
"I just watched 67 episodes of Game of Thrones in one sitting. I have never felt more accomplished and more worthless at the same time," Dai said at the conclusion of the seven seasons.