9:44pm PT by Katie Kilkenny, Lexy Perez
Stephen Colbert, Jimmy Kimmel Implore Trump to Speak to Robert Mueller
Stephen Colbert didn't bother with small talk when John Oliver stopped by The Late Show on Wednesday — the two immediately began talking shop about a frequent subject of their shows since 2016: now-President Donald Trump.
Colbert kicked off the discussion by bringing up House of Representatives Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi's eight-hour filibuster on the House floor on Wednesday, during which time the Democrat told stories of Dreamers, or undocumented immigrants brought to the U.S. as children. Democrats including Pelosi are currently holding out on agreeing to a federal budget until Trump and Republicans consider a vote to protect DACA recipients.
"I'm not sure if you know what you're applauding there," Oliver joked after Colbert broached the subject. "I don't know if anyone wants Nancy Pelosi to speak for eight hours. If she read the Harry Potter audio book, we wouldn't have movies right now."
When Colbert asked whether Oliver had heard about Trump's interest in having a military parade akin to the one he saw on Bastille Day during a recent trip to France, Oliver shot back that Trump's interest in a showing of military riches would not fill "this hole" in his heart.
"I have heard he wants that, but I can tell you, it's not gonna happen. Whatever his presidency is about," Oliver said, listing off some emotional troubles Trump might have, "those phallic missiles and everything, [he's going to realize], no it's not that, and that is when [we're really screwed]." Oliver suggested that at some point Trump would go from wanting to fill "this hole" with a display of military power to shooting missiles at North Korea. He'll think "'surely I can fill this hole with something,'" Oliver said. "Which he can't. He's an emotional vacuum and he'll die that way."
After briefly discussing Meghan Markle's wedding to Britain's Prince Harry (Oliver said he hopes that Markle will pull out at the last minute because royals are "emotionally stunted people"), Colbert brought the conversation back to Trump. He discussed Trump's reported enthusiasm to speak with Special Counsel Robert Mueller, who is heading up the investigation into Russia's role in the 2016 presidential election, against the advice of his lawyers.
"I don't doubt that he wants to talk … but they would tackle him to the floor before he got a word out. He would perjure himself," Oliver said.
Colbert noted that he would thus really like Trump to talk to Mueller, and looked at the camera, imploring and flattering Trump so that he would. Oliver, picking up on the joke, also stared at the camera and made his plea. "I know I joke around a lot but I, too, think you should do it," he said.
Over on Jimmy Kimmel Live!, the late-night host attempted to convince the president to speak with Mueller, utilizing reverse psychology tactics.
“I think it’s Robert Mueller who doesn’t know how high the stakes are. I agree with you, President Trump. You didn’t do anything wrong. Even if you did, you’re too smart to get caught. You run circles around these clowns,” Kimmel sarcastically joked.
Continuing to offer his own encouraging words for the president, Kimmel added, “Donald Trump gets in that meeting, not only will they drop the investigation, but Robert Mueller will probably beg him for tickets to the inaugural ball in 2020. I dare those nitwits to try to outwit the greatest negotiator of all time. President Trump, you go in there and you wipe the floor with these numb skulls. And when you come out of that interview, you get back to the business of making America even greater than how great you already made us, which is pretty darn great.”
After taking a moment to pause, Kimmel then said quietly, “Will someone edit just that part of the video and tweet it to him so he testifies?”