9:46am PT by Allison Crist
Late-Night Hosts Rip Into Trump's Weekend Tweets
Late-night hosts used their Monday shows to play catch-up with the weekend news dump — most notably, President Trump's Twitter responses to the firing of former F.B.I. deputy director Andrew G. McCabe and the continued investigation into potential Russian meddling in the 2016 presidential election, led by special counsel Robert Mueller.
Stephen Colbert was quick to predict Mueller — or "guy wondering how much he'll get for his book deal" — would be the next person ousted by the Trump administration. He also dubbed Trump's attorney John Dowd a "shaved Peter Pettigrew," and made fun of Dowd's choice to use purple Comic Sans when writing an email to call for an end to the Russia investigation.
"Now that sounds inappropriate until you remember that the Declaration of Independence was originally written in Wingdings," Colbert joked.
Trump's word choice when tweeting about the Mueller investigation also became the butt of a joke.
Why does the Mueller team have 13 hardened Democrats, some big Crooked Hillary supporters, and Zero Republicans? Another Dem recently added...does anyone think this is fair? And yet, there is NO COLLUSION!
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 18, 2018
"You don't want to mess with them. Those hardened Democrats will walk right up to an old lady and stick her with a social security check," Colbert said, jokingly warning the "hardened" Dems might also give someone healthcare.
The tweet was apparently Trump's first in which he attacked Mueller by name, which Colbert said is so significant it deserves its own film, "Call Muell by Your Name."
"I hear there's a hot im-peach-ment scene," Colbert quipped.
The Late Late Show's James Corden, on the other hand, said Trump's first use of Mueller's name meant that "after months of practice, Trump finally learned how to spell Mueller."
Corden had a particular theory about why Trump was so unraveled on Twitter over the weekend.
"Wildly unrestrained? Check. Semicoherent? Check. Tweet that ends in all caps? Check," Corden said. "Guys, it's official. Donald Trump is on spring break!"
Colbert touched on McCabe losing his $60,000 pension — "That's like half a porn star payment!" — as a result of being fired two days before he was set to retire.
Sunday was also McCabe's 50th birthday, which Colbert celebrated by presenting a card "from Trump."
"You're not getting older," the card read. "You're getting fired."
In reality, Trump addressed McCabe in a tweet, saying that his former boss, James Comey, made him "look like a choirboy."
"Mr. Trump knows a lot about choirboys, because everyone who works for him is gonna sing," Colbert said to applause.