7:54pm PT by Katie Kilkenny
Late-Night Hosts Tee Off on Opening of U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem
After a violent day of protests along the Gaza border fence that coincided with the opening of the U.S. Embassy in Jerusalem, late-night hosts weighed in on the building's relocation from Tel Aviv.
On The Late Show on CBS, host Stephen Colbert joked of the break with tradition, "Now we just have to destabilize Antarctica, and we'll have global-crisis bingo."
He also poked fun at the decision with a mock advertisement for a company dubbed "Embassy Movers."
"Are you looking to move your embassy, knowing full well that your move may plunge the region into chaos?" said a salesman version of comedian Brian Stack. "Then call Embassy Movers. We have over 25 years experience moving embassies in crusade-like conditions."
Stack continued to promote the business, noting a few highlights. "Nothing stops our moving trucks, be it rain, snow, or violent regional conflict," he said. "Plus, we always use blankets and bubble wrap. So the only thing you'll be breaking is the possibility of a two-state solution."
The comedian took a jab at Jared Kushner — who remained a popular target throughout the night — offering to pick up "useless son-in-laws," during the moving process.
Noting that President Trump could not be at the opening of the embassy Monday, Colbert said, "Instead, he sent Peace-Treaty Barbie and Collusion Ken," as a picture of Ivanka Trump and Kushner filled the screen. Colbert then played a clip of Kushner speaking, overlaid with audio of a comically high-pitched voice reading his speech.
On NBC, Seth Meyers also tore into Kushner's unique speechifying style on Monday night's broadcast. "White House senior adviser Jared Kushner spoke today at the opening of the new U.S. embassy in Jerusalem," The Late Night host said. "It's great practice for Kushner, because next week he has to do an oral report in social studies."
Over on The Daily Show, Trevor Noah had fun with an old clip of Trump at a time when he briefly considered not moving the embassy to Jerusalem. The Comedy Central host played video of Trump at a rally, where he told supporters that when he was told the cost of the embassy's move would be $1 billion, he stopped signing the executive order midsignature and crossed out his name with a few giant X's.
"I love that Trump tried X-ing out his signature, like he was voiding a check," Noah said. "As if someone was going to take the executive order out of the White House trash and fill out the rest of his name, like some kid is going to use it as his fake ID. Like, 'Sorry buddy, you gotta be 21.' 'That's no way to talk to the president of the United States."
Another Comedy Central host saw things differently. The Opposition's Jordan Klepper joined Fox News' Judge Jeanine Pirro in praising Trump for following through on his initial promise to make the move. Klepper played a clip of Pirro comparing Trump to King Cyrus before yelling, "Amen, Jeanine!"
"Yes, Trump is just like King Cyrus before him," Klepper continued. "It's well known that King Cyrus hated the Babylonian press and refused to apologize to John McCain."
Klepper was also seemingly inspired by Senator Mitch McConnell's thoughts on the situation — "If you got a problem with Jerusalem being the capital of Israel, take it up with God."
"Great answer. It's what I use all the time," Klepper said. "Don't like my policies on the Middle East? Take it up with God. Don't want me to use your pool while you're on vacation? Sorry Brent, take it up with God. Curious as to why I've been emotionally distant for the last eight months? Take it up with God."