Parvati Shallow Breaks Down 'Survivor: Worlds Apart': Snickers, Chickens and Fake Idols

 The season 30 theme is white collar vs. blue collar vs. no collar.

Parvati Shallow is a Survivor champ and three-time competitor on the show. The OG Miss Survivor and Survivor Hall of Famer now covers health and wellness for CBS News in New York City. Find her on Twitter @parvatishallow.

You know an episode is going to be good when it starts out with a sloth crawling around in the dark. At least that’s what I’m telling myself at the start of the show.

What I’m loving about this season is that we have a group of scrappy no collar underdogs (including Shirin) who are willing to go all out and make people crazy. No one is making people more crazy than Shirin. She’s been the epicenter of everyone’s complaints, and now that she helped send her friend Hali home in the last episode, she’s down in numbers. Shirin wants to shake things up. I know this girl is smart—she’s a big wig at Yahoo. So, let’s see what she can do when she sets those big old brain wheels in motion. 

Right away, Shirin approaches the big dog, Mike and says she wants to play for his team. Will Mike take the bait?? Only time will tell.

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Right now we have to get to a reward challenge that’s perhaps the most hilarious event I’ve seen all season. The contestants are competing for a reward that is quite possibly the worst ploy for sponsorship I’ve ever seen in my life: Snickers, Dove, Kit Kat, M&M’s... and whatever other labeled chocolate treat production can throw in a jar to attract the eye of high rolling sponsor. This time, Mike does take the bait. He’s a one-line pony, spouting off soundbites about Snickers bars that would make any marketing executive drool. Well done, Mike.

While Mike and the rest of the winners are out on their reward, Rodney is back at camp playing King of the World. I gotta hand it to Rodney here, he’s doing a pretty good job keeping his court in line. And, the impressions of Mike and Dan are so funny and spot on, that—I have to admit—the Boston bro is actually growing on me. As Rodney grows in popularity, I wonder if we’re gearing up for a Mike/Rodney showdown sometime soon. Wouldn’t that be fun?

Something fun needs to happen fast in order to cheer Jenn up. I miss our free-spirited, happy go-lucky girl. Since losing Hali, Jenn has also lost her will to go on in this game, and I don’t like seeing our little sailor looking so down in the dumps. Can someone cheer her up for me please?

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Apparently not. Rodney and Joe decide it’s time to kill one of “Jenn’s chickens” for dinner, which only strengthens her resolve to leave the game. But, she won’t leave the game without making as much of a ruckus as she can. She pulls Joe aside before the Immunity Challenge and lets him know that she’ll give him the necklace if she wins. This is good news for Joe, because everyone is so terrified of him that he’s always the next to go if he doesn’t win immunity. Now he has a little bit of backup.

Jenn’s no slouch in these endurance challenges either. As her tribemates drop like flies, Jenn stands stoic and unmoved. It’s down to Jenn and Tyler at the end. Everyone watching the show right now is pulling for Jenn to win this. We all want to see Joe get through another day in the game. He’s just so lovable, and he’s getting more and more handsome as the days go by. Are you with me?

It looks like Jenn’s got this in the bag! I’m psyched. And then…

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Jenn drops. Once again, I’m crushed. How could this be?? And, how will Joe save himself now?!

All looks hopeless. But, remember people—it’s not over until your torch is snuffed.

And, Joe has made himself a fake idol that rivals all others! Who would have thought that his skills as an artisanal jewel-smith would be such a valuable asset to his game-play?

The only problem with Joe’s plan is that he approaches Mike (who’s holding onto the real idol) with his fake idol. Joe’s desperate now, and he’s working the leader big time. He knows that Mike is his number one threat and also maybe the only guy with enough power to save him right now. Unfortunately, Mike is pretty savvy when it comes to Survivor and he wants Joe to present him with the idol right away. Joe says he’ll give Mike the idol at tribal if Mike changes his vote.

Mike sort of agrees, a little bit. I’m hopeful. The idol looks authentic. This could work.

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We get to tribal and cross our fingers that Joe catches a break tonight. Jenn wants to go home. She’s practically begging everyone to vote her out. But, Jenn’s no threat now and people want to keep her around because of that.

Joe palms Mike the idol and Mike instantly tries to get verification from Probst that it’s the real deal. No way Jeff is going to let this moment pass; he quickly improvises that he can’t tell Mike until the idol is played. It’s perfect.

Now, we really don’t know what’s going on. And, when everyone votes, they all say as much.

After the vote, Mike plays Joe’s idol and learns that Joe tried to play him for a fool. Mikey don’t liiiike that.

And, Joe gets voted out. Boooooooo.

Who are we all going to root for now??

Tweet me @parvatishallow with questions or comments.