Samantha Bee Slams "F---ed Up" Abortion Bills After Strict Alabama Measure Passes

TBS Full Frontal with Samantha Bee - 5.15.19 - Publicity 2-H 2019
Courtesy of TBS

Samantha Bee had some harsh words for the Alabama legislators who passed a bill that effectively outlaws abortion on her Wednesday edition of Full Frontal

"These laws are designed to oppress and control and ultimately overturn Roe v. Wade, and if they succeed, they will directly result in death and poverty for women and other vulnerable people," she said on Wednesday's broadcast, referring to the Alabama bill and others making their way through state legislatures. "But it is especially f---ed up that the people doing the regulating wouldn't recognize a vulva if it bit them in the face."

When Bee kicked off her TBS show, she announced that, earlier that day, Alabama governor Kay Ivey had signed into law a bill that bans abortions at every point in a pregnancy and threatens doctors with up to 99 years in prison for performing abortions. The only exception contained in the law is for when a pregnancy is life-threatening; abortions due to rape or incest are not permitted.

"Speaking of Alabama, no exceptions for rape and incest is also Roy Moore's dating profile," Bee joked.

She added that, now, six states have passed or are going to pass so-called "fetal heartbeat" abortion bills, which outlaw abortions once a fetal heartbeat has been detected, as early as six weeks into pregnancy. "There have been more six-week abortion bills than Godfather movies," she said. That was particularly problematic because the politicians that have been passing the bill in Alabama and others that are intended to trigger a battle over Roe v. Wade in a conservative-majority Supreme Court have "no f---ing idea how women's bodies work," she said.

Bee then introduced a segment called "Sex Ed for Senators." Donning a jean vest with fabric patches ironed on, she welcomed her class: "Time to learn about vaginas, cycles and why Charlotte from Sex and the City was sad for two whole seasons," she said, before diving into the errors that senators have offered up in their explanations for various strict abortion legislation.

Responding to Alabama state senator Clyde Chambliss' claim that "there's a window of time when a woman knows she is pregnant," Bee's first lesson was that women "don't immediately know we're pregnant." Women might have no symptoms, she said, or might just feel bloaty or fatigued, like they just ate too much "P.F. Chang's."

The second lesson was targeted at Ohio Rep. John Becker, "who hates logic as much as he hates women." Concerning his statement that a person can reimplant ectopic pregnancies, Bee reminded him, "You can't reimplant an ectopic pregnancy." She added that ectopic pregnancies are almost never viable, and they can't be treated by "magic."

Noting that the new Georgia law could lead to the investigation of women who miscarry, Bee then instructed her audience that "miscarriage is incredibly common." Her fourth lesson, "what even is an abortion?" followed an error in Bernie Sanders' discussion of abortion. Her final lesson? "Birth control and morning-after pills also aren't abortion," she said, "but they are being legislated like they are." Becker, again, was the target of her commentary here, due to false statements about the morning-after pill and birth control pills. "Neither of them cause abortions; banning them sure does," Bee said.

In response to Georgia's "heartbeat bill," five Hollywood production companies have pledged not to work in Georgia until the bill, which has been signed into law, is struck down, and productions including the Fear Street movies and Lovecraft County will still shoot in Georgia but have pledged money to fight the law.