9:21am PT by Bryn Elise Sandberg
Seth Meyers' 10 Best Jokes at the NBC Upfront
Seth Meyers made an appearance at NBCUniversal's upfront presentation Monday to roast his own network.
The Late Night host took the stage at Radio City Music Hall in New York and cracked some jokes at the expense of NBC. He poked fun at Mr. Robot star Rami Malek, NBC stalwart This Is Us and the Today show.
"This is my fourth year in a row at upfronts and I really didn't think that was a big deal, but over the course of this presentation I realized how few network shows even get a second season — and I started feeling pretty good," he said when he came out onstage. "If you think about it, Seth Meyers at Upfronts is one of the longest-running shows at NBC."
The late-night host was just one of many NBC talent to appear during the presentation: others included Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Ted Danson and Jimmy Fallon.
Here's Meyers' most memorable lines from the NBC upfront presentation:
1. Let me just say how great it is that NBC’s presentation is the day after Mother's Day because my wife is the greatest mother in the world and nothing makes her feel more appreciated than when I said to her yesterday, “Do you mind keeping an eye on the kids? I’m going to try to write some jokes about NBC’s new fall schedule.” I could tell my wife was mad so to make it up to her I said, “How about I get you two tickets to upfronts?” And then she made herself a drink and threw it in my face.
2. In 2020, NBCUniversal will be coming out with its video streaming service, which they’re now referring to as OTT — which by 2022 will stand for, “Oh That Thing.” Seriously though, it’s time to come up with a name for the streaming service. This is like when people have still not named their kid two weeks after it was born. “This is Baby” does not reflect badly on the kids, but it makes the parents look a little weird.
3. And also, what’s taking you so long? It’s going to be something like NBC Plus or NBC Gold, right? We’re not going to call it something crazy like Apollo’s Sword or Hulu.
4. If you’re deciding between the two, I would use NBC in the name and not Comcast. They’re both great companies, it’s just no one has ever had to wait four hours for the NBC guy to show up.
5. Last year one of the big stories was NBC saving Brooklyn Nine-Nine after it was canceled by Fox. And it worked out so well I’m surprised we haven’t tried it again. For example, I heard next week HBO is airing their last Game of Thrones. We should pick that up. I mean, I can’t believe they canceled it. I think that show is very popular. I haven’t seen last night’s episode but I definitely feel like you can get a few more seasons out of the Cersei-Jamie relationship. Although, HBO would be tough with a network sensor. Once you cut out all the sex and violence, every episode would just be 11 minutes of people starring out of the sides of boats.
6. Rami Malek was here today. Rami stars on Mr. Robot and he recently won an Oscar for his portrayal of Freddie Mercury and he still couldn't get out of coming to upfronts. I mean, what’s it gonna take? If I ever win an Oscar, the first thing I’d think would be, “I think this means I don’t have to go to upfronts.”
7. But such a well-deserved Oscar. That guy is a great actor. I mean, how about when he came out here and said, “It’s great to be here.” So believable.
8. Ted Danson is here. How good does Ted Danson look? It makes me think, what were upfronts like when Cheers was on and the only way to watch TV shows was on TV the night they aired. Were upfronts like 10 minutes long? “Yeah, we have Cheers and 20 million people are going to watch it and they’re going to watch all the commercials as well so we’re just going to just make some room onstage and you can just throw up stacks of cash.
9. They never had to talk about live-plus-7 for Cheers. Live-plus-7 for Cheers was everyone who watched it live plus the seven weirdos who recorded it on their VCR. Can we cap it, by the way, at live-plus-7? Once it hits, like, live-plus-45 it feels like it shouldn’t count. It’s like asking your buddy if that girl he liked texted you back and they say, “Not yet — but it’s only been 45 days.”
10. Kathie Lee Gifford left the Today show after 11 years. Fun fact: She’s the first person to ever leave the Today show willingly. The motto of the Today show used to be, “The Today show: Security will show you out.”