11:01am PT by Bryn Elise Sandberg
Seth Meyers Skewers NBC's Bob Greenblatt, Schwarzenegger During Upfronts Routine
When Seth Meyers took the stage at Radio City Music Hall during NBC's Upfronts presentation Monday morning, no one was safe.
"Here we are, back at Radio City for the second year in a row. I've always dreamed of performing on this stage," said the Late Night host. "Of course, in the dream it wasn't for upfronts."
Meyers was among the last in a long line of NBC talent to make their way to the stage during the presentation, including Mariah Carey, Jennifer Lopez, Jimmy Fallon, Kristen Bell, Jaimie Alexander, Vanessa Hudgens and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
"Thank you, NBC, not only for inviting me but for giving me the coveted end of the presentation slot when the audience is at their most energetic," he continued. "As a performer you always want your jokes to be the thing between an audience and an open bar — and if it can be 12:30 on a Monday, all the better."
Here, THR rounds up Meyers' 10 best jokes:
1. "Let me just say, today really puts into focus how spoiled I am to follow Jimmy Fallon every night. If I had to follow The Tonight Show Starring Linda Yaccarino and the Future of Branded Content I have to think it would affect my ratings."
2. "It's so great to be at Radio City. The last time I performed at one of these it was at the Javits Center, so needless to say I'm happy we're back here. Usually people don't rebound from the Javits trajectory. It's usually, Radio City, Javits Center, Men's Room at Penn Station …"
3. "But still, so many great acts have graced this stage: Sinatra, Beyonce, Parton and Greenblatt. I might be wrong about this, but I think that's the last time they performed together. And of course, the last event NBC held here was Adele's first live performance in four years. But you guys! You guys get to find out what The Chiller Network is up to!"
4. "You know, I think if Adele was here she'd say, 'I'm sorry, the whole day is just people talking about shows that haven't even been on the telly yet? That's a bit daft, innit?' "
5. "Watching sizzle reels at the upfronts is like meeting your brother's new girlfriend at Thanksgiving. She seems great, but you don't want to get too attached because chances are she won't be around next fall."
6. "This is the first year that all the NBCUniversal properties are in one place for the upfronts. NBC, Telemundo, NBC Sports Network, Golf Channel, MSNBC, USA, Syfy, E! Entertainment, Bravo, Oxygen, Twinkle, Esquire Network, Sprout, TV One, The Surgery Channel, Chiller, Cloo, The Weather Channel and Universal HD. And only two of those were made up!"
7. "Being on NBC, I'm very excited about the schedule of shows, even though the network passed on my crossover episode idea of Blindspot and The Voice where Adam Levine tries to figure out what his tattoos mean."
8. "E! is here. The network is home to Fashion Police — the only police force that disproportionately targets white people."
9. "This is the first time NBC and Telemundo are together for one upfront. And based on what happens in the presidential election, maybe the last? Might be hard to hear each other over Donald Trump's wall."
10. "The great Arnold Schwarzenegger is here. He was telling me backstage about how he is taking over The Celebrity Apprentice. Or maybe he said 'The Salad Peas of Brenda.' It was hard to tell."