10:38pm PT by Aaron Couch
Stephen Colbert Threatens to Sue Google for Getting His Height Wrong
Contrary to what you might have found on Google, Stephen Colbert is 5'11'' — and he wants you to know it. Colbert railed against Google and CEO Larry Page because according to the search engine, he's just 5'10''.
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"I demand a retraction, an investigation, an apology and a substantial cash settlement, or I will see your ass in court," Colbert said.
He went on to talk about how important one's height was for show business, listing Brad Pitt and Russell Crowe as fellow members of the 5'11'' club.
"When we're in the steam room naked, no shoes, we're looking at each other eye-to-eye," Colbert said. "Seriously, 5'10''? Those are Matt Damon numbers. That's down there in the stale air Johnny Depp is sucking. These guys represent the lollypop guild."
He added that he's a reasonable man.
"I'm not asking to be listed with the circus freaks like Conan [O'Brien] at 6'4."