'Survivor: Redemption Island': Parvati Shallow's Recap - Episode 9

The winner of 'Survivor: Micronesia' continues her weekly thoughts on game intrigue, strategy and blunders. Warning: spoiler alert.

That’s all folks! Things are looking pretty bleak for the former Zapatera crew these days. With Rob drunk on power and the rest of the former Ometepe drunk off Rob’s Kool-Aid we are watching complete and total devastation of the old raggedy challenge throwers. I’d be lying if I said I was surprised to see the ex-marine, Mike, and then calculating David get the ol’ heave ho at the hands of Stealth R US, aka Rob’s tribe-cult. Mike and David were definitely the biggest threats as far as challenges go and Rob is hell bent on eliminating anyone that could possibly give him a run for his million.

As Mike and Dave made the long, lonely trek to Redemption Island I bet those boys were kicking themselves for being so cocky in the beginning of the game and throwing that challenge to get rid of Russell. Hindsight is always 20/20 and I’m sure Mike and David found themselves wishing they were safely snuggled up with Russell on the merged tribe on the right side of the numbers. Lesson learned: never get too cocky on Survivor. Feeling safe is the kiss of death in this game of manipulation and back-stabbery.

For Rob and his tribe of brainwashed Rob-bots, things are looking bright and sunny! It doesn’t seem like anyone feels compelled to have a personality despite the fact their generous leader forbade them to share in bounty of the sea that Ralph and Julie discovered in the net. Rob is controlling their bathroom breaks, their diet and their thoughts. Their mind numbing obedience pleases their sinister leader greatly, but makes for a major yawnfest for viewers looking to see some juicy strategy and game play. Rob’s crew is making the same mistake as the old Zapatera. They feel safe because they have a few more people to sacrifice before they must cannibalize themselves. I’m pretty sure Rob’s made each and every one of them feel cozy and confident that he / she is the chosen one getting the privilege of riding Rob’s glorious coattails all the way to the final three. Do the math kids, there are six of you and only three get to make it to the end. Who’s it gonna be? One of you is gonna have to step up and play.

In the midst of this major borefest, I find myself fantasizing about Russell being back in the game. At least then we’d get to see some fireworks go down between Rob and Russell. As my fantasy deepens, I see Jeff Probst picking up Courtney Yates in his fancy helicopter. He drops her right into Redemption Island where she gets involved in this Koala bear challenge and everyone instantly drops out of the challenge terrified, knowing Courtney sleeps on one of those things every night. Now everyone at home has someone to root for as we watch the new challenge dominator on an exciting immunity run! Then I wake up in a cold sweat on my couch in front of my TV and tell myself to shake it off.. I’m not on an island, no one’s chasing me with a machete..,it was just a dream. I’m safe. Whew, close call!

Anyway…the one redeeming quality of last night’s show was hearing Phillip discuss his continued plans to alienate all and to be a complete weirdo for the rest of the game. Hallelujah! I’m so thankful for Phillip. I love that he knows Rob wants to take him to the finals because he’s been such a nut job and no one will vote for him. I’m guessing he’s completely fine with not winning because his strategy is great to get him to the end, but in no way will Phillip win this game.

Andrea is showing a little glimmer of promise as she insisted on taking the immunity challenge. Maybe there’s a little fighter in her after all? I’m hoping she’s been playing dumb these past few weeks and she’s biding her time until she feels ready to strike!

Grant and the girls are toast. Rob will decide which to vote off in whichever order it pleases him. Done and done

I’m excited for the showdown on Redemption Island between veteran Matt and newcomers, Mike and David. I’m ready for Matt to win the challenge, get back into the game and take out Rob! Hey, a girl can dream, can’t she? ;)