'Westworld' Cast Reveals What Won't Happen in Season 2

The stars of HBO's highly awaited drama drop fake spoilers ahead of the show's return: "An asteroid won't hit 'Westworld.'"
Courtesy of HBO

Spoiler alert: When Westworld debuts its second season on April 22, there will be no asteroids in sight. Music will flow, but dance numbers will not. Oh, and Robert Ford? He's very much dead — unless he's not.

The cast and crew of the HBO drama dropped those pearls of wisdom and more while speaking with The Hollywood Reporter at the Westworld world premiere this week in Los Angeles. Since the actors involved in the series can't reveal too much about what's next for Dolores, Maeve and the other hosts without fear of ruthless reprisal from creators Jonathan Nolan and Lisa Joy, they instead indulged us by supplying some fake spoilers for the season ahead — and even with that said, some cast members were still reticent to dish out faux reveals, given what's at stake.

"I couldn't even answer you," says Clifton Collins Jr., who plays Lawrence. "I haven't seen season two yet, and I have no idea how the edit is going to be, so I could be 100 percent wrong. I would hate to say something wrong, like, 'The U.S.S. Enterprise shows up in episode eight,' and then it does! Fuck! But I just made that up! What's Chris Pine doing here?"

For the record, the occasional Captain Kirk is almost certainly not in the new season of Westworld. Likewise, here are some other developments that won't occur this season ... probably.

Shannon Woodward (Elsie): "No one slips on a banana. That doesn't happen."

Ingrid Bolsø Berdal (Armistice): "I don't think anyone is eating ice cream in season two. It's an injustice. We have to change that. Why isn't there any ice cream? This is an entertainment park! That's a flaw in the system."

Ben Barnes (Logan): "Logan will at no point burst into song. It is a pity. I did make more than one request, but apparently — sadly — there was no opportune moment in the context of the story. I think that's just lazy."

Lisa Joy (co-creator): "The musical that I wanted, aside from the Rickroll, has yet to happen. The Rickroll was not enough. I want the full musical!"

Woodward: "There is no choreographed dance number — that I'm aware of! There honestly may be a choreographed dance number. But I don't think it's a dance number."

Ptolemy Slocum (Sylvester): "I did not see anybody float above the ground in some kind of magical format. Nobody meditates partially above the ground, moving around using only their brains ... as far as I know. What's hilarious is, I don't even know if that's true."

Patrick Cage ("Phil," a new character): "There are no kangaroos. Actually? I'm not sure I even want to say that, because who knows, man? I'll say that, and then boom: Kangaroo World."

Jonathan Nolan (co-creator): "Honestly, I'm still reeling from the theory that it's all miniaturized, and I don't want to debunk it. It might be a good idea for season three."

Simon Quarterman (Sizemore): "You will not see an asteroid hitting Westworld. If you think that's happening? Sorry, I'm afraid not."

Steven Ogg (Rebus): "At the end of season two of Westworld, Rebus walks away and winds up in Texas. It's going to be a new show called Fear of Westworld. It will air on TBS, and it's a sitcom. You will see how Rebus, a robot, handles life in small-town America."

Woodward: "There's no rodeo. There are no flying beds. There is no Angela Lansbury, which I think is the biggest fault in Westworld. We have to work on that for season three, because we're zero for two with Angela Lansbury right now."

Louis Herthum (Abernathy): "Doctor Ford was not killed. That was the host that he was baking down in the basement. He sent his host out to actually take the bullet to the head. The reason you should have known it was the handshake between him and Bernard. That clue that you could tell a host by their handshake? That should have clued you in." 

Josh Wigler (THR): "OK, that actually sounds plausible. .."

Herthum: "Trust me, I would be scared as hell to tell you something that actually happens, so I have to make sure I'm telling you something I absolutely know isn't going to happen!"

Katja Herbers ("Grace," a new character): "You will not see the end of the show. This show is going to continue for a couple more seasons, to say the least."

What are your wildest, completely nonsensical Westworld theories? Lay them out below in the comments, and keep checking THR.com/Westworld for more coverage.