'The X Factor': Simon Cowell, L.A. Reid's 10 Best Quotes From Thursday's Show

"You were getting on my nerves when you were talking, but when you started singing, I wanted to slit my wrists," Reid tells one auditioner.
Ray Mickshaw / FOX

The X Factor was back Thursday night, with more aspiring singers both talented and tuneless auditioning for the judges.

Simon Cowell, Paula Abdul, L.A. Reid and Nicole Scherzinger hit Miami and Dallas in the second episode of Fox's new singing competition.

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While in Miami, the judges despaired over the lack of talented singers making their way to the X Factor stage, so much so that Cowell seemed almost ready to throw in the towel.

And the show wrapped up seeing back-talker Xander Alexander win over Cowell in Dallas -- only to get "no's" from the other judges and a negative reception from the audience.

Here are the five best quotes dished out by Cowell and Reid -- perceived as the harshest of the four judges -- to auditioners during the episode:

Reid, to Ashley Sansone: "You were getting on my nerves when you were talking, but when you started singing, I wanted to slit my wrists."

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Cowell: "Here's the problem. ... And I know that I'm English, but I couldn't understand a single word that you had to say. The problem is, it's your voice."

Reid, to a contestant who claimed she can see ghosts: "I'm fascinated by you on many, many levels, but the singing was the least of them."

Cowell: "This is going to sound odd, but it's meant as a ompliment. When I hear you, I think of wolves mating in the forest."

Cowell, to a contestant who says he gets told he looks like Justin Bieber, after his audition: "It was like, imagine I am a factory in China, and I've been given an order to manufacture 10,000 Justin Bieber dolls that sing and dance, but it kind of went wrong in production. That's what you are. It wasn't quite right."

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Reid, after an audition: "Why are you shouting at me? What did I do?"

Reid: "My advice to you would be to be in a group of three or four girls your age where you don't have to rely on a fantastic vocal."

Cowell, to a "singer" who made only low, strange sounds from his throat: "Learn a song. In English. Actually human."

Cowell, to Xander Alexander, pre-auditon: "I'm going to give you one more chance before I lose my patience with you. I'm beginning to get irritated with you. Shut it, and start singing."

Cowell, to Alexander, post-audition: "You know what, Xander? I actually quite like you. You're lippy, you're gobby, but you're interesting."


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