Stephen Colbert thinks he knows the entire plot — and ending — of Star Wars: The Force Awakens.
After watching last week’s new trailer — which he described as “not a 10-second, slow-fade teaser. None of that b.s. This was a real trailer” — the Late Show host said of the notoriously secretive J.J. Abrams film, “I am confident I have the definitive guess as to the entire plot of the movie, now.”
“It has been three decades since the events of the original trilogy,” explained Colbert. “The dark and mysterious First Order has stepped into the power vacuum once held by the Empire, and the newly named Resistance fights in place of the Rebel Alliance, which has begun a tragic shift to the dark side.
“But John Boyega’s character is in a Stormtrooper suit, so it follows that now the New Hope comes from the very enemy we’ve been trained to hate,” he continued. “Remember, the dark side was never explicitly tied to the Empire. The Force itself exists outside of mere temporal authority structures.
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“So I predict that dark becomes light, light becomes dark, and the very fabric of the Force is stretched to its limit, as a new generation emerges to tear down the false distinctions of the past and unite all of us,” he concluded, “old and new, moisture farmers and nerf-herders, star and wars, once and for all, bringing peace to the galaxy.”
Though he won’t be proven right or wrong until Star Wars: The Force Awakens hits theaters Dec. 18, what do you think? Watch the video below and sound off in the comments.
