The original 1990 House Party was no masterpiece, but it featured infectious energy, enjoyable hijinks, two appealing leads in Christopher Reid and Christopher Martin (better known as the hip-hop duo “Kid ‘n Play”), and a very talented supporting cast including Robin Harris, Martin Lawrence, Tisha Campbell and John Witherspoon among others. The landmark teen comedy went on to spawn four sequels (the less said about, the better) and has now been given, in the words of director Calmatic, “a remix, not a remake.” The problem is that this remixed House Party is one to which audiences will regret accepting the invitation.
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This film’s party doesn’t take place in any old house, but rather a palatial L.A. mansion belonging to LeBron James. Apparently not learning the lesson taught by Space Jam: A New Legacy that, as an actor, James makes a great basketball player, screenwriters Jamal Olori and Stephen Glover (Atlanta) revolve their story around the athlete, as if his GOAT status will somehow add a patina of quality to the silly proceedings.
House Party
Arranging the impromptu shindig are aspiring club promoters and best friends Damon (Tosin Cole, 61st Street) and Kevin (Jacob Latimore, The Chi), who make ends meet by working as house cleaners. Not very responsible ones, apparently, since they both get fired as the story begins. Since both are desperate for money — one needs to find a place to live, the other needs to keep up his child support payments — they impulsively decide to host a party at James’ mansion, where they’re working on their last day.
Hilarity fails to ensue, with complications including the arrival of a trio of promoters (one of whom constantly holds his crotch, even while fighting) looking for the money the pair owes them; a DJ (D.C. Young Fly) who imagines that he’s a time traveler; a neighbor’s koala bear, who promptly gets stoned; an inept security team that fails to prevent the mansion from getting trashed; and, most egregiously, a slew of celebrities and hip-hop stars who provide unfunny cameos, including Kid Cudi, Mya, Snoop Dogg, Lil Wayne, Juvenile, Mark Cuban and Lena Waithe, the last at least providing a mildly amusing moment in which she muses while getting high about creating a “backwards” version of Roots. Kid ‘n Play also appear for a reverential moment, having the good sense to look vaguely embarrassed.
After Damon (who pronounces his name “like the French way”) and Kevin discover that James’ championship ring has been stolen, they wind up crashing a secret and very violent gathering of the Illuminati in which heads literally start to roll.
To say that none of this, and I mean none of this, proves remotely funny is an understatement. As an example of the film’s cluelessness about humor, when James comes home unexpectedly and threatens to call the police, Damon challenges him to a one-on-one basketball game to settle their differences. An incredulous James accepts the offer, and promptly beats the pants off his amateur opponent. And none of this is played for laughs! Nor does the film boast any visual strikingness, which is the least you’d expect considering that its helmer is a Grammy-winning music video and commercial director.
As is by now apparently required of celebrities, James takes the opportunity for some self-mockery, albeit of the extremely mild variety, via such gags as a self-affirmation hologram in which he gives himself a virtual pep talk like Al Franken’s Stuart Smalley. But mostly he coasts through his few scenes looking as though he’d rather be anywhere else. And really, who could blame him?
Lead actors Cole and Latimore are competent enough, but they don’t come close to approximating the original film’s stars’ charisma or likability, with the result that their characters’ ill-advised activities leave a sour taste. This is one party you can’t wait to be over.
