Let's just pretend this publication assigned two people — a cynical, apathetic critic and a die-hard longtime fan — to review AC/DC's show Saturday at the Forum.

Critic: Another AC/DC tour? The band is almost 30 years past its creative peak. And the show never changes; it's like watching a movie over and over. Even their hairstyles are exactly the same.

Fan: Dude, it was just as rad as '82 and '91 and '01!

Critic: The show opens with a video game-inspired train wreck. It's a metaphor for Brian Johnson's voice.

Fan: Dude, the Rock N Roll Train, like, crashed through the back of the stage! Epic! And Brian was shoutin' his ass off!

Critic: Most of AC/DC's repertoire goes the easy route by servicing the carnal over the cranial. And the note-for-note delivery is uninventive.

Fan: Dude, "You Shook Me All Night Long" and "Dirty Deeds" kicked! So did "Thunderstruck!" Just like the records! Rattlin' bare-bones! Anyone who didn't get off on this show must think rock 'n' roll's just noise pollution!

Critic: As always, spotlight-hogging guitarist Angus Young marched in place, bobbed up and down, did a mini-striptease, blah, blah — all while delivering basic riffs and redundant solos. Then there's that crusty "Whole Lotta Rosie" solo he's been doing since the Carter administration.

Fan: Dude, Angus fully shredded! The "Rosie" jam was, like, 10 minutes!

Critic: And Young's guitar was so far up in the mix that it dominated everything, including Johnson's vocals.

Fan: Dude, Angus was so loud my teeth bled!

Critic: Too many of the songs sound just alike.

Fan: Dude, it was one killer concert song after another!

Critic: The video screens often showed borderline sexist images.

Fan: Dude, they showed different chicks in the crowd every time Brian sang "she got the jack." LMAO!

Critic: Even the video images of fire during "Highway to Hell" had Georgia O'Keeffe overtones.

Fan: Dude, remember the song ends with "and I'm goin' down!"

Critic: Maybe it's time for AC/DC to call it a career.

Fan: Dude, the very best part: The last thing Brian said was, "We'll see you again." (partialdiff)
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