Chloe Dykstra Says She Contemplated Suicide Over Chris Hardwick Harassers

“When I found out he had gotten his jobs back, I was actually relieved because I knew [the online harassment] wasn’t going to stop until he was reinstated,” the actress said.

Chloe Dykstra says she has been so harassed since accusing her ex-boyfriend, Chris Hardwick, of emotional and sexual abuse, she considered killing herself. 

In her first interview, given to Time, since writing a lengthy essay in which she leveled numerous allegations against Hardwick (who she didn't actually name, but it was obvious to most readers), the actress said she has endured such vile attacks via online from Hardwick defenders, she considered killing herself.

“After months of reading horrible things about myself, I got to such a low point that I considered ending it,” Dykstra told Time. “I didn’t really have guidance because you can’t really Google, ‘How to handle being an accuser?'”

Even though Nerdist founder Hardwick (who vehemently denied that allegations) has since been reinstated to his AMC show, Talking Dead, after being suspended pending the outcome of an investigation into the claims, Dykstra is still getting backlash, she said. 

“When I found out he had gotten his jobs back, I was actually relieved because I knew [the online harassment] wasn’t going to stop until he was reinstated,” Dykstra told Time

She also said she was shocked that her essay became so big, so quick, saying when she checked Twitter the next morning, it was all over the place.  

“I opened trending and saw my face,” she said. “It was the most terrifying thing I have ever experienced. I was just like, ‘No, no, no.'”

In her interview, Dykstra said at first, the response to her essay was positive and supportive, but that quickly changed. 

“I was attacked relentlessly," she said. "There was an organized group of people online whose sole purpose was to try to disprove me. I was terrified people were going to figure out where I lived.”

Hardwick next month will host a Walking Dead panel at New York Comic Con, his first time moderating since stepping away from those duties ahead of San Diego Comic-Con in July.