Class Is in Session: See Professor Angelina Jolie's "Leaked" Syllabus

WPA Pool
Angelina Jolie

An "early draft" of the curriculum and materials by the London School of Economic's visiting professor and Oscar winner.

Angelina Jolie: Oscar winner, humanitarian, United Nations High Commission for Refugees ambassador, Council on Foreign Relations member, advocate against sexual violence in war. And now, she's a professor, too. Through "contacts" at London School of Economics, where Jolie was named visiting professor at the University's Centre on Women, Peace and Security on Monday, The Hollywood Reporter has acquired a copy of the humanitarian and Hollywood actress' syllabus (or an imagined version of it), excerpts of which have been reprinted.

"Guns, Terms and Feels: Supply Side Quandaries in the Developed World's Arms Trade"

The first lecture in the series will focus on the international arms trade and the impact on the individual in developed nations. Costs, both psychological and monetary, to persons in communities with average armament demands will be contrasted with nominal overall costs to supplier nations incurred by said munitions exports.

Reading: Students should consider Mr. and Mrs. Smith (the updated version, not the original version from 1941, which does not apply to this course) paying special attention to the scene where Brad Pitt and Professor Jolie destroy their kitchen with gunfire from U.S. and Israeli-made semi-automatic weapons, and then make love over what remains of the island in their suburban kitchen.

"More Than Gossip at the Well: Crosscurrents of Female Empowerment and Disruption in Developing Digital Marketplaces."

Discussion will take into account the new opportunities in the digital and especially mobile sphere afforded to women in developing countries to participate in the global economy in new and aggressive ways.

Reading: Students will be encouraged to play Tomb Raider. While the most recent X-Box One edition is recommended, older editions, ranging back to 1999’s Tomb Raider: The Last Reveal, published by Eidos for Playstation (now out of print), are acceptable.

"Blood in the Water: The Dangers of Biological Anomalies in Underserved Water Supply Systems"

Potable drinking water is not immediately available for up to 10 percent of the developing world. In this lecture, Ms. Jolie and her associate, Robert Kennedy Jr., who is president of the Waterkeeper Alliance (also a dear friend), will examine methods of inhibiting bacterial contamination of fresh water sources.

Reading: Ms. Jolie’s performance as the sea-dwelling mother of the monster Grendel astounds in her portrayal of a beast that is as seductive as she is dangerous. For further reading on Ms. Jolie being both seductive and dangerous, please see Gone in 60 Seconds, Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Salt, as well as the box-office receipts of By the Sea.

"Father Knows Worst: Patriarchal Prejudice and the Suppression of Female Education as an Inhibitor to Economic Development"

Educating women may be the key to relieving the greatest stresses on the poorest developing nations. While women in developing nations evidence higher savings rates, curbed black market distresses and increased production rates, patriarchal political and cultural institutions can hobble the education that permits these advantages.

Suggested reading: Really any news clip featuring Jon Voight, Ms. Jolie’s father, actor and vocal Donald Trump supporter.

"G.I. Janus: Looking Forward to Labor Efficiencies in the Military-Industrial Complex"

Challenges to efficiencies of the navies and air forces due to the lack of promotion of female officer candidates will be the focus of this series of lectures that seeks to challenge such mismanagement of human capital as militaries reinvent themselves to progress into the 21st century.

Students will not be encouraged to watch Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow. No one should ever watch Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow.