'Daily Show' Airs Parody Film of Donald Trump's Life, Narrated by Rosie O'Donnell

Trump Deal Daily Show H 2016
Comedy Central/Screenshot

Trump Deal Daily Show H 2016

"Someone should pin a Purple Heart on that orange dick."

After the New Deal and the Fair Deal, America may soon be facing Donald Trump's Very, Very Incredible Deal, according to the Daily Show.

The Comedy Central series aired a parody biographical film on Thursday night, narrated by Rosie O'Donnell. "Before Donald Trump accepted his party's nomination, delegates viewed a short film about his work, life and overall fantasticness," explained Trevor Noah. "We bring it to you now — just slightly edited for clarity."

The video began with how Trump was born "nine months after the nuking of the Japanese Asians — some say, the radiation gave fetal Trump his Godzilla-sized business acumen and his Godzilla-sized head-to-hand ratio," explained O'Donnell. "In school, young Donald showed great promise as a negotiator, settling a dispute with his music teacher by punching him in the face."

Though Trump attended New York Military Academy, he never fought in Vietnam "due to a sudden tragic diagnosis of heel spurs, a condition so debilitating it spread to his brain." Still, he repeatedly referred to his dating woes as his "personal Vietnam," and O’Donnell saluted, "Someone should pin a Purple Heart on that orange dick."

After business school, Trump began his real estate career with a loan from his father of "almost nothing" (aka a million dollars), and established Trump-branded properties around New York City, "turning a town of rundown eyesores into the home of the country's classiest eyesores." A slew of bankruptcies, a career in "fake business" on The Apprentice, "he seemed to have it all: money, fame and no beliefs to slow him down."

The video noted that his presidential campaign has seen him face "obstacles like smaller penised rivals, former wedding guests and dishonest media unfairly bent on destroying him by reporting actual things he said." When he targeted O'Donnell personally, she paused to say, "Okay, you f—ing piece of shit. ... I swear to Christ, I will step on you."

Watch the video below.