Eva Mendes Reveals Why She and Ryan Gosling Named Their Baby Esmeralda

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The first-time mom opens up about motherhood

Eva Mendes is known for being fiercely private, but in her new cover story interview with Violet Grey the actress spoke about being a mother for the first time. Mendes and Ryan Gosling welcomed their baby, Esmeralda Amada, in September.

"We both love the Esmeralda character from the Victor Hugo novel The Hunchback of Notre Dame and just think it’s a beautiful name," Mendes said. "Her middle is Amada, which was my grandmother’s name. It means 'beloved' in Spanish."

Mendes revealed she doesn't currently have a nanny. "For me that part of being a mother at this early stage is the struggle of not being able to sleep and not knowing what I’m doing and really going through it with her and battling out those nights," she said. Mendes also said she's "completely exhausted," adding, “I thought my wild nights were over, but these are some of the wildest nights I’ve ever had.”

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When she needs help Mendes said she calls one of Esmeralda's grandmothers or "aunties," and while she tries to avoid Google, she does sometimes go to online baby forums and reads the comments section. "Just knowing that I’m not alone out there and that other moms have gone through the same thing can at least get me through the night," Mendes said.

However, Mendes said that while people tell her motherhood is tough she's learned that it's "way harder to be a baby." "Everything is a struggle for her," Mendes told the magazine. "For instance, I haven’t thrown up since the ‘90s, and she’s thrown up twice since we started this interview. Motherhood is cake compared to what it’s like to be a baby."

The actress said she and Gosling understand that privacy is going to be "very difficult" for their daughter. "I think it's unfair, but that's our reality. So Ryan and I decided early on to give her as much privacy as we could," Mendes said, explaining that they purposefully kept her pregnancy news private for this reason. "I know that it seems all very innocuous when you’re flipping through a tabloid at the doctor’s office or see a photo of a pregnant lady online, but I find the media’s 'bump watch' obsession to be both intrusive and stressful. So I made a decision to eject myself from it completely. I was like, 'Annnnd I’m out.'"