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Love her or hate her, there’s no denying that Kim Kardashian is nothing if not entertaining. Over the years, we’ve witnessed Kim and her klan of famous siblings get into all kinds of shenanigans, but nothing really beats the soundbite gold that come out of Kim’s mouth.
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To celebrate the expectant mom’s 35th birthday on Oct. 21, we’ve rounded up 25 of her most hilarious quotes to date.
1. “You have to look at her Tumblr. It’s just like, so her soul.” – Discussing sister Kylie Jenner‘s Internet savvy on KUWTK.
2. “I had dinner with [Obama] once, and he just seemed very firm about the change, and that’s, like, his motto.” – E! Interview, 2008.
3. “I’m not buying her a f—ing pair of shoes. I bought her a f—ing career.” – Discussing sister Kourtney Kardashian’s career on KUWTK.
4. “I want to be a vampire … I would die to be in Twilight, being around all those hot guys.” – Popeater Interview, 2009.
5. “I used to drink a ton of iced tea, but I’ve cut back. I had the craziest addiction to Equal — I’d put 10 Equals in every iced tea.” – Harper’s Bazaar Interview, 2015.
6. “Honey, would you put a bumper sticker on a Bentley?” – Discussing tattoos with Wendy Williams in 2009.
7. “Isn’t it funny how like, elephants like, have a saggy butt?” – KUWTK.
8. “I can’t go like, shopping around Beverly Hills in this car.” – Refusing to get in sister Kourtney’s oversize pickup truck on KUWTK.
9. “I just went out and bought flats for the first time this week and I can’t wear them.” – Discussing her inability to wear flat shoes while pregnant with E! News in 2013.
10. “I only just started wearing underwear a month ago. And I never used to wear underwear until then.” – Talking underwear habits with Love Magazine in 2015.
11. “I always pee all over my Spanx, it’s a disaster. They aren’t crotchless enough!” – Discussing the trials and tribulations of wearing Spanx with Love Magazine in 2015.
12. “I rented a monkey for my mom for a week.” – Discussing her attempt to cure her mother’s empty nest syndrome with a primate on The Late Show with David Letterman in 2009.
13. “There’s nothing I love more than getting to stay home all day and not get ready for anything, which is about half the week.” – Harper’s Bazaar Interview, 2015.
14. “Craving Cheetos.” – Discussing her cravings on Twitter in 2015.
15. “They say I look like a different ethnicity.” – Discussing her blond hair with E! News.
16. “[North] doesn’t like pink or purple. She likes greys, creams, oatmeal colors and black. Every once in awhile she’ll add some color, like with her little red Air Yeezys, but other than that she likes to keep it pretty simple.” – Discussing 2-year-old North’s fashion sense with Lucky magazine.
17. “In recent years, I’m like too cool for duck face, so that doesn’t happen.” – NPR Interview, 2015.
18. “I don’t like South West, though, because that’s like — you know, North will always, you know, be better… I don’t think we’ll go with another direction.” – Discussing the name of her unborn child during an NPR Interview in 2015.
19. “There’s a lot of baggage that comes with us. But it’s like Louis Vuitton baggage — you always want it.” – Discussing her family on KUWTK in 2011.
20. “What gave me the right to think I could be a singer?” – Discussing her singing career on Bravo’s Watch What Happens: Live.
21. “I’m doin’ it with class, ‘cause I got a big ass.” – KUWTK.
22. “I’ll cry at the end of the day. Not with fresh makeup.” – KUWTK.
23. “Well a bear can juggle and stand on a ball and he’s talented. But he’s not famous, you know what I mean?” – Discussing her talents in an interview with The Guardian in 2012.
24. “I think if I’m 40 and I don’t have any kids and I’m not married, I would have a baby artificially inseminated. I would feel like Mary — like Jesus is my baby.” Discussing the Virgin Mary with Scott Disick on KUWTK.
25. “Being on a reality show doesn’t get the respect I feel it should.” – C Magazine Interview, 2015.
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