Charlie Sheen blasted his former bosses — Two and a Half Men co-creator Chuck Lorre, CBS Corp. chief Leslie Moonves and Warner Bros. Television Group president Bruce Rosenblum — in the fourth episode of his web series Sheen’s Korner on Tuesday night.
“What has occurred yes in fact is a completely and entirely illegal and unconscionable act,” he said of his firing, announced Monday. “Or, to quote my lawyer, really shitty shitty suck suck.”
He then named all three of his former bosses one by one as his “unwanted guest list” and tweaked their names while talking directly into the camera.
First on the list was “Les Than Goonves”: “Part scoundrel, part my hair to side. Screw Les, I proclaimed, or better yet — screw more. You gave me your word but in turn gave me nothing.”
Rosenblum he dubbed “Bruce Daisy and Wilt”: “Shame on you, you shorter-than-average fool. … My crew now knows the truth, and yes, that is all of their fists pounding on your paper-thin door. … It’s over, tiny man. Grab your ankles and accept your fate. Wow, it must really suck being you now.”
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Sheen spent the most time attacking Lorre, calling him both “Chuck E. Cheeseball” and “F— Lorre.”
“Where are you hiding, you silly clown?” Sheen said. “Behind your narcissism, your greed, your hatred of yourself and women? Which person are you cowering behind for cover? I see you, moron, behind that plastic smile, behind your need to be liked.”
Addressing speculation that Sheen might be replaced on Men, he said: “Good luck putting those tin-can shitbrain [words] in the mushmouth of some arrogant carcass you’ve traded for this warlock.”
He later took a shot at Men’s Monday night ratings: “How’s last night’s 2.8 in the demo feel? Ouch. How about last night’s as well 2.6 to follow it?”
Sheen didn’t stop there, calling Lorre “maggot” and “ugly clown,” among other names.
“Can you smell your smell? Can you smell your rotting dogshit, your fermented puke that is your rotted viscera?” he said. “Can you smell the lies, can you smell the carnage you’ve created? Can you smell the wimpy, scared child you’ll never have the courage to embrace? … It smells like malaria. If sad and stupid had a smell attached it would be you, F— Lorre. It’s perfect your name rhymes with suck, muck. You picked a fight with a warlock, you little worm.”
Only WBTV president Peter Roth escaped insult: “Peter Roth, who I will not call sloth. I spare you … because your heart was always rooted in fairness and good tiding. Trust not your evil overlords … liars and fools, all of them. Sheen’s Korner could use [you]. You have my digits. Show your courage. Use them.”
The episode kicked off with several minutes of close-up on the book The Art of War: Great Commanders of the Ancient and Medieval World, 1500 BC – AD 1600, followed by a montage of clips including scenes from A Few Good Men (“You can’t handle the truth!”) and Apocalypse Now (“I love the smell of napalm in the morning”).
It was the first web series to be recorded following his firing. (Monday night’s episode was taped earlier in the day, before the news broke.) Previous episodes have featured Sheen having phone conversations with his so-called media adviser Bob Maron.
Sheen wrapped up the 16-minute telecast by saying: “High treason has occurred. The scales of justice are in a state of radical disarray. Together we must right this infantile wrong.”
Also: “One final note: Sheen’s Korner is now for sale as a sports bar. You know where to find me. I bid you adieu… See you soon on the battlefield.”
