The chief warlock himself, Charlie Sheen, was celebrated on Saturday night at the Comedy Central Roast in his honor. Roastmaster Seth MacFarlane poked fun at the notorious actor, reading a pre-written obituary prior to inviting Sheen to the stage. MacFarlane quickly noted that the obit was a knockoff of Amy Winehouse‘s, and that he only made three edits: Gender of the deceased, location of death and reference to “a talent who will be missed.”
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MacFarlane was joined by Jeffrey Ross, William Shatner, Anthony Jeselnik and Amy Schumer as the most well received roasters of the evening. Jokes ranged from harmless jabs at Mike Tyson‘s face tattoo and Jon Lovitz‘ chins (Chinning), to zingers aimed at Sheen’s public custody battle. Jeselnik went so far as to proclaim, “the only reason you’re on TV in the first place [Charlie] is because God hates Michael J Fox.”
The Hollywood Reporter was on the red carpet and inside the show soaking in all the action. From Ross’ bizarre wardrobe choice, to a rumored Two and a Half Men viewing party, read 10 things seen and heard at the Sept. 10 event.
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1. Ross strutted down the red carpet dressed as Muammar Gaddafi, flanked by two similarly dressed ladies. “The real Gaddafi is hiding in Charlie Sheen’s nostrils right now,” he joked to reporters. The audience was in hysterics during his bit, arguably the most hilarious the night, while many of his fellow roasters gave a standing ovation following the act. His opening line: “Friends, roasters, enablers… Lend Mike Tyson your ears.”
2. Outside, the red carpet was lined with half naked goddesses, each with their right breast exposed and covered in white body paint. Inside, women donning goddess headdresses showed people to their seats.
3. Spotted on the red carpet: Sheen’s ex-wife Brooke Mueller, telling reporters she was “excited” to be in attendance. Inside, Mueller was in hysterics when Tyson referred to Denise Richards as “The C Word.” Several other camera scans showed her chuckling, though many jokes were made at her expense — particularly in reference to the former couple’s very public domestic abuse case.
4. The show’s highlight reel included many clips from Sheen’s past as well as his media circus earlier this year. Noticeably absent: any footage from Two and a Half Men. The network referenced the void with text, implying that they were legally unable to air Warner Brothers’ Men footage. Meanwhile, Men creator Chuck Lorre and former co-star Jon Cryer were busy across town presenting at the Creative Arts Emmys. Folks from his new Lionsgate project, Anger Management, were in attendance and Sheen told THR that he is considering “a few names” to co-star.
5. Before launching his face into Tyson’s fist, resulting in a bloody broken nose, Steve-O told THR that Sheen plans to have a Two and a Half Men viewing party, including all of the roasters. The group will watch CBS and Comedy Central sequentially in Sheen’s home theater. Elsewhere, on ABC, Dancing With the Stars will debut its 13th Season, of which Steve-O is an alumni.
“I believe I’ll be watching Two and a Half Men with Charlie at his house,” the Jackass star said. “He’s gonna have us all over I think — At least he wants to.”
6. The room was buzzing about Kate Walsh‘s involvement, as the most unexpected roaster of the evening. MacFarlane addressed her during the panel by saying, “Kate, why are you here? What are you doing here? You should not be here.” Inside, she looked nervous while sitting between roasters Jeselnik and Lovitz. Though she produced a few late act zingers, her performance met with groans. At one point, Lovitz pretended to be asleep.
7. Tyson did what everyone would have expected him to do — stand behind the podium and spew some unintelligible banter. After his act, roaster Schumer asked the room how he had done, since she had “no f***ing idea what he said.” Judging by the teleprompter, his ill-fated jokes were actually quite funny on paper. Tyson did draw big laughs for one early joke: “During your performance [Ross,] I wish I bit my own ears off.”
8. Sheen sat up on his throne (with a glass of water) seemingly enjoying every minute of the event. The guest of honor did cringe, however, as the roasters took jabs at his kids and his mother, whom Jeselnik referred to as “some dumb bitch.”
9. The very funny Patrice O’Neal took the podium to criticize his fellow roasters performances, telling Steve-O that his new sober act “stinks” and that Captain Kirk is “a f***ing a**hole.” For his act, O’Neal operated almost entirely off script.
10. Sheen proved that despite his whirlwind year, there’s still fight left in him. “Once again, I have come out unscathed. You can’t hurt me. Hell, I can’t even hurt me. Drugs couldn’t kill me, sex couldn’t kill me, the press couldn’t kill me. Two and a Half Men couldn’t kill me. Did you really think your little jokes were gonna hurt me?” he challenged. “I’m done with the ‘winning,’ because I’ve already won. This roast may be over, but I’m Charlie Sheen, and in here burns an eternal fire. I just have to remember to keep it away from a crack pipe.”
The Comedy Central Roast of Charlie Sheen airs Monday, Sept. 19, the same day as Ashton Kutcher‘s Two and a Half Men debut on CBS.
