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Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to mourn the loss of Henry Cavill’s mustache (2017-2018), may it rest in peace.
The most glorious stache to have ever graced a Superman was tragically shaved on Tuesday, leaving the actor‘s upper lip vulnerable, exposed and cold, probably.
Cavill himself was the bearer of bad news, revealing the loss to his 5 million Instagram followers — who are still likely reeling with shock — on Wednesday morning in a reflective video tribute. “It’s hard to recognize me without King Stache,” said Cavill, “but I will remember him. Always.”
Cavill’s stache will go down in hirsute Hollywood history alongside those belonging to Charlie Chaplin and Clark Gable. (Get out of here with your “Tom Selleck/Nick Offerman has the most iconic Hollywood stache” nonsense — you’re disrespecting the classics. And both of those staches are still alive and well.)
The tribute fittingly features an Oscars “In Memoriam”-style photo montage set to Sarah McLachlan’s “I Will Remember You.”
You’ll remember McLachlan as the quintessential queen of sadness (not to be confused with Lana del Rey, queen of ironic sadness), whose ballad, “Angel,” is known to make the eyes water in an almost Pavlovian effect, thanks to those ASPCA commercials.
We’ll always remember you, King Stache.
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