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In the latest episode of Between Two Ferns, Zach Galifianakis sits down with Jerry Seinfeld and Cardi B.
“I had President Hillary Clinton on last time. Now I have this guy,” says Galifianakis to producers offscreen as Seinfeld sits next to him. The host then mouths, “Who cares?”
“It’s like I love the ’90s. I might as well have Lorena Bobbitt as a guest,” he continues. “Get an Us Weekly or Teen People and find a legitimate guest.”
Galifianakis introduces his guest as “Jerry Sandusk-uhh Seinfeld.” As the guest says he is really thrilled to be on the show, his name appears onscreen as “Jerry Signfeld. Funny 1993-1997.”
“It seems like everyone from the Seinfeld cast went on to do great, wonderful stuff,” says Galifianakis. “It’s been a real launching pad for whites.” Seinfeld responds, “OK.”
Galifianakis then goes on to compare Seinfeld’s Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee to James Corden’s “Carpool Karaoke.” “What’s next in lazy car-based noncomedy?” The guest shifts uncomfortably in his chair.
“You know that movie you made? Bee Movie? Don’t you think it should’ve been called ‘D-minus movie’?” asks the host.
“It’s called Bee Movie because it’s about bees,” Seinfeld aggressively responds before taking on one of Galifianakis’ film credits. “Do you think if they only made one Hangover and didn’t make the other two it would be considered a comedy classic? Do you think that you destroyed what would have been a comedy classic by the cash grab of two and three?”
“Let me ask you a question,” snaps Galifianakis. “Do you have relatives that need emergency surgery all the time? Well, I do! My Aunt Debra needed a baboon heart transplant. That’s why I did Hangover 2. My Uncle Dicky, his yacht club burned down. That’s why I did Hangover 3 is to save my uncle’s yacht club,” he yells. “And to buy myself a stretch Hummer.”
After a quick comment about Galifianakis’ hairstylist, Sam, the host brings out Wayne Knight.
“Hello, Jerry,” says Knight, who played Seinfeld antagonist Newman.
“Hey, Wayne, Good to see you,” Seinfeld responds and pleasantly shakes hands with his former co-star.
“You’re supposed to say, ‘Hello, Newman,’” says Galifianakis. Seinfeld responds, “That’s when I’m playing a character.”
After the host points at Knight and says, “It’s Newman,” Knight responds, “No, my name is Wayne Knight.”
“Why would you have him come down and use him that way in that cliche, you know, exploitative way of just having him do his catchphrase from the show?” asks Seinfeld.
After Knight explains that he thought Seinfeld wanted him to appear in the interview, Galifianakis hands Knight a check and he exits the room.
After Seinfeld’s refusal to promote the show by encouraging viewers to vote that the show is “funny” instead of “die,” Galifianakis learns that a “better” guest has arrived to the studio.
Cardi B enters the room and Galifianakis tells her to take Seinfeld’s seat, forcing the comedian to sit on a milk crate. “Cardi B, Zachy G and Jerry J,” says Galifianakis as he reintroduces the guests.
“What’s the J?” asks Seinfeld. “Jew,” responds Galifianakis.
The host instantly perks up and praises Cardi B for her career and pregnancy. “We got you a gift because that’s what you do in show business,” he says as he hands her a present. “See I get a gift,” the rapper tells Seinfeld.
After opening the gift and showing off a pink onesie that reads “Rap Fan,” she tells Seinfeld, “I’m special.”
“You are special, but the most important thing is that you’re relevant,” adds Galifianakis.
“Boy, this is a really different interview than the one I did. I’m not even between the ferns anymore,” notes Seinfeld. “I don’t even fit the description of the show.”
Galifianakis responds, “When I do another show called To the Right of a Fern, you’ll be the first guest.” He continues, ”Cardi, thank you so much for coming by and saving the show.” She then hugs the host goodbye and leaves without acknowledging Seinfeld.
“That was the opposite of what happened with Kesha,” Seinfeld says, referring to the time the singer asked him for a hug on the red carpet but he declined.
After thanking his guest, Galifianakis turns on the Seinfeld theme song and walks to a microphone at the end of the stage. “Do you ever have a talk show and on that talk show the guest is really lame,” asks Galifianakis, mimicking the beginning of each Seinfeld episode. “One of my guests, he had a show on when, you know, the Counting Crows were popular, but if you look at his face, it’s more like counting crows feet.”
Watch the full interview below.
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