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The Tonight Show‘s Jimmy Fallon celebrated National Teachers’ Day on Tuesday by performing “Teachers’ Day Song.”
While strumming a guitar, the host began the original song by asserting that “teachers should make a billion dollars and get more vacation time.”
“They spend their days wrangling all our crazy kids/ When they go out, they should get free bottomless wine,” he sang.
Fallon added that teachers “deserve a monthlong spa day” that includes wearing cucumbers on their eyes, which he guessed would turn into an educational lesson. “‘Cause if you ask them why the spa’s using veggies/ They’ll explain it’s ’cause of the enzymes,” he sang.
The host next suggested that educators should have their own proms, where “the students have to chaperone.” Fallon jokingly added, “Ms. Weaver. Mr. Jones. No grinding.”
“Teachers should make a billion dollars/ And when it’s time for arts and crafts/ They should get swarmed by paparazzi/ Who demand selfies and autographs,” he continued.
Fallon added that “teachers shouldn’t have to pay their taxes” and that “they should get cheered around the clock” for all of the hard work that they put into teaching their students.
The host said that bank employees “should throw money” at educators, while he also suggested that teachers should always be given free guacamole when they go to Chipotle.
Fallon repeatedly sang the sentiment that “teachers should make a billion dollars,” noting at the end of the tune that they should make the large sum of money “twice a week.”
While National Teachers’ Day fell on Tuesday, the week of May 4-8 marks Teacher Appreciation Week. Many people have recently shown gratitude for teachers in light of the coronavirus pandemic, which has forced many parents to teach their children at home while schools are closed.
Watch Fallon’s full tribute song to teachers, below.
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