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Correspondents’ dinner host Jimmy Kimmel offers some timely political advice.
Just Add Babies
Congress has a record-low 9 percent approval rating. In TV, when we want ratings, we add a baby. A tiny orange Boehner baby (Snooki?) would make the House of Representatives a much cuter place.
21 Jump Start
Why waste energy coming up with new ways to scare people into voting for you when you can “reboot” the classic paranoia we grew up with? Rick Santorum knows that when it comes to getting voters excited, you can’t beat good old-fashioned racism, sexism and homophobia.
Get a Reality Check
Do you know why no one watches the federal government proceedings on C-SPAN? Because they’re boring. C-SPAN could use a Bravo-style makeover. The politicians who spend hours droning on about The Affordable Care Act could learn a lot from the producers of Pregnant in Heels.
The national debt is more than $15 trillion. We can chip away at that. The judges on American Idol allow Coke cups on their table — why can’t the judges on the Supreme Court? Let’s get them some soda and Slankets.
Get Better Representation
President Obama hired the wrong Emanuel brother. Ari would have negotiated a second term already. And if the Secret Service had a decent publicist, “Colombian hookers” would be called “Latin entertainers.”
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