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During The Late Show, Stewart appeared in order to share his ideas for what President Trump’s next executive orders could be.
“He’s got to be done, right? There can’t be any more of these executive orders,” said Colbert, when Stewart walked out onstage, interrupting the host.
“He’s got more, trust me. He’s got more,” said Stewart, appearing onstage dressed in a wig and comically long red tie. (It’s later revealed that it is a clip-on tie.)
“I love your outfit. Is this your Donald Trump impression?” Colbert asked him.
“I thought this is how men dress now,” Stewart responded. “The president sets men’s fashion. I saw the inauguration — super long tie, dead animal on head. Boom.”
On Trump’s executive orders, Stewart revealed that “I’ve got his orders. Would you like me to read some of them to you?”
“I don’t know if you know this,” Stewart told him, pulling out the “executive orders” from behind the desk, “but I sleep here.”
Among the so-called orders? “To secure our border, China shall immediately and without hesitation send us their wall. Done. Boom.” The trick? When it arrives, “we pretend we’re not home.”
“The new official language of the United States is bullshit,” is the second order Stewart reads. “I, Donald J. Trump, have instructed my staff to speak only in bullshit.”
“It has been 11 days, Stephen. Eleven f—ing days. The presidency is supposed to age the president, not the public,” he added, to loud applause from the crowd.
In conclusion, Stewart’s message to viewers was this: “No one action will be adequate. All actions will be necessary, and if we do not allow Donald Trump to exhaust our fight and somehow come through this presidency calamity-less and constitutionally partially intact, then I, Donald J. Trump, will have demonstrated the greatness of America, just not the way I thought I was gonna.”
Earlier, during Colbert’s monologue, the host addressed Trump’s Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch and Trump’s first few days in office. Colbert said that “this is supposed to be the honeymoon — how could Trump blow the honeymoon? He’s had three of them! This is what you’ve been training for, sir.”
“So right or wrong, Trump’s immigration ban has been a PR disaster,” he continued, as “White House press secretary and ‘angry neck with ears,’ Sean Spicer” had to defend the ban, Colbert said, sharing clips of Spicer’s justifying detaining a 5-year-old boy at the airport despite being an American citizen.
Stewart last appeared on The Late Show on Election Eve, when he joined Colbert to encourage voters to get out and have their voices heard in the election the following day.
The episode featured a musical number about voting, as Stewart was reminded who was running for commander-in-chief: “That angry tax- and draft-dodging little orange groundhog is running for president?”
Watch his segment from Tuesday’s show below.
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