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Just when you thought it was impossible for Kim Kardashian to shock anyone anymore, the expecting mom dropped her most outlandish project to date. On Wednesday morning, Kardashian’s bizarre commercial for Hype energy drinks was released, causing a frenzy of confusion and chaos with people wondering, “what exactly does it all mean?!”
The video is a blur of Kardashian participating in various un-Kim-like activities, including but not limited to: riding a bike, falling off a bike, drinking bubbly pink Hype from a crystal glass and, last but not least, pretending to sleep (during which time the camera pans to her boobs, naturally).
But while the commercial itself makes about as much sense as her role as the face of an energy drink (any loyal KUWTK fan knows that Kim shows about as much energy as a sloth, regardless of caffeine levels) — Kardashian’s beauty game, as always, is strong. Here, we break down her five looks.
1. The Busty Audrey Hepburn
The ad opens with Kardashian lying on the ground after presumably taking a spill on her bike. The 34-year-old sports a ponytail with blunt bangs, a fitted black turtleneck and classic pink pout — you know, a typical bike riding look — but alas, no helmet. C’mon, Kim.
2. The Pasty Marie Antoinette
The next scene sees Kardashian re-imagined as Marie Antoinette for no reason in particular — other than perhaps an excuse to zoom in on her overflowing bust. A small rodent-sized wig, bleached brows and lashes and thick white makeup round out the bizarre flashback.
3. The Urban Urchin
You’d think that by the last fourth of the video, an educated person might be to grasp some kind of narrative. But then Kardashian reappears wearing a slashed tee, heavy smokey eye and long braids while a hip hop track thumps in the background. Aaaannnddd we’re back to square one.
4. The Suburban Dominatrix
Here Kardashian does a classic beauty look favored by many of the Real Housewives, consisting mostly of flawless foundation with a subtle hint of lip color. So naturally, Kardashian paired the look a skin-tight leather mini dress and thigh-high lace-up boots.
5. The Chic Space Chick
Kardashian finishes strong with a sleek, futuristic look featuring perfectly placed highlighter, a bold cateye and slicked back bun. This look may be the most “Kim” look of the bunch, but unfortunately we’re still confused.
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