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After CBS fired news anchor Charlie Rose — who also hosts his own eponymous show on PBS, which has since cut ties with Rose — following a Washington Post report detailing how Rose allegedly sexually harassed eight women, Stephen Colbert, Seth Meyers and Jimmy Fallon took time out of their opening monologues Tuesday night to address the news.
“So far, all of the allegations stem from his show on PBS. It is the worst scandal in public broadcasting since it was revealed PBS is short for ‘pubes,’” Colbert joked during his Late Show.
One woman told the Post that Rose proposed she select a DVD of his show that they could watch together. “Because, really what woman alive doesn’t get aroused by an hourlong interview with Thomas Friedman?” Colbert quipped.
In another detailed encounter, Rose allegedly wore a white bathrobe with nothing underneath. “What is it with the robes?” Colbert yelled. Adding, “First Cosby, then Weinstein, now Charlie Rose, who’s next? Yoda?” Colbert said.
“Mmm, tense you seem,” Colbert said, imitating Yoda. “Shoulders I will rub. Reported to HR I am.”
The Late Show host then proceeded to play a mock lyrical version of the theme song for Rose’s PBS show: “Here comes Charlie. Oh no! He’s getting’ naked. Open robe! He’s a creep.”
Colbert jokingly observed of the instrumental opener, “It seems they rarely ran with the lyrics. Rarely.”
Meanwhile, during Late Night’s “Closer Look” segment, Meyers took a moment to provide quality insight into Rose in wake of the allegations against him.
Meyers said, “Here’s a good rule of thumb. If your face isn’t pulling in the babes, your penis isn’t gonna make the difference. Everybody’s penis is 100 percent less attractive than their face. Women don’t love the penis. If they love the man, they’ll tolerate the penis. The best, the best your penis can ever hope for is, ‘Well, all right.’”
Meyers also compared Rose’s situation to the premise of ABC’s The Bachelor. “This whole situation is like a reverse Bachelor. Nobody wants to accept this rose.”
Noticing how many men have allegedly sexually harassed women while in bathrobes, Meyers believed it was telling of the garment. “You know, I’ll just say it. It might be time to retire the bathrobe entirely. It’s a terrible idea for a garment.… And you never hear a positive news story involving a bathrobe. It’s never, ‘Family of four pulled from burning house by a man in bathrobe.’ It is always, ‘Some creep was creeping it up in a creepy f—ing bathrobe.’”
On the NBC’s Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon, Fallon joked about the moment Rose was fired from CBS. “They told him to clear out his desk, put on some pants and leave.”
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