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Seth Meyers, Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, James Corden and Jimmy Fallon all teased Jeff Sessions on Thursday night, after the attorney general recused himself from Russian investigations following news that he met with Russians during Donald Trump’s campaign, despite his denying it in his confirmation hearing.
“I’ve got some balloons right here, and I’m going to start blowing them up to celebrate the fact that Donald Trump finally has everything under control,” said Meyers in Late Night‘s “Closer Look” segment. He promptly let the air come out of the balloon as he played clips of the Sessions news.
“We’re not even six weeks into the Trump presidency, and members of his own party are already talking about a special prosecutor,” said Meyers. “It’s like you’re on a third date with someone, and you’re already introducing them to your divorce lawyer.”
Colbert opened The Late Show by showing a mock day planner owned by Sessions, in which the attorney general makes plans to hang out with the Russian ambassador and adopt a bear with him before realizing he must destroy the planner. In his monologue, Colbert played the clip of Sessions telling Sen. Al Franken he hadn’t communicated with Russians and then pointed out that Sessions decided to “volunteer to lie,” answering a question he wasn’t even asked.
“Why I’d be happy to answer your question, senator, but first, let me stand on this rickety chair next to a full bathtub,” said Colbert as Sessions. “Please, hand me that toaster, and plug it in, if you will. Perhaps an English muffin or two in here. What was your question again?”
The Late Late Show‘s Corden teased Sessions for now saying that he did meet with the Russians, but did not discuss the campaign.
“That’s like your wife finding out that you went to a strip club, and you tell her, ‘No, no, no, it’s cool. I didn’t look at any of the girls.’ ” He joked that Sessions has inspired a new Jason Bourne movie, called Do You Think We Were Bourne Yesterday?
On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah pointed out that Sessions “lied under oath while interviewing to be the guy who prosecutes people for lying under oath.”
“How do Trump’s people keep forgetting that they met with Russians?” asked Noah. “The whole thing is like one of those Russian nesting dolls,” he added, saying that every time one person goes away, another one pops out.
Noah also had Jordan Klepper weigh in on whether or not Sessions should resign.
Jimmy Fallon also brought up Sessions recusing himself from any investigation involving Russia and the presidential campaign. “He recused himself, but he still claims he did not lie under oath,” said the Tonight Show host. “Then he said, ‘I’m not under oath right now, am I?’ “
Fallon offered up some jobs Sessions could take on if he is forced to resign, including looking after his three sons, Snap, Crackle and Pop; posing as a “before” model for ear-reduction surgery; or starring in the off-Broadway show The Elf on the Shelf Live!
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