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Late Night writers Amber Ruffin and Jenny Hagel joined Seth Meyers via video on Tuesday night for a home edition of the NBC show’s recurring segment “Jokes Seth Can’t Tell.”
“We do a lot of jokes on our show that due to having a diverse writing staff, some of them don’t sound right coming from me, a straight white man,” Meyers explained. “We decided that we should still tell you some of those jokes, which brings us to a segment we call ‘Jokes Seth Can’t Tell.'”
Meyers then introduced Ruffin, who is black, and Hagel, who is gay. “And we’re both women,” added Ruffin.
The host explained that he would read the setups to the jokes, while Ruffin and Hagel took turns delivering the punchlines.
“The footwear company Crocs is working with the makers of marshmallow Peeps to release clogs in pastel colors,” said Meyers. Hagel responded, “Said lesbians, ‘You had me at clogs, but you lost me at pastel.'”
He next shared that the Smithsonian Channel released a new documentary called Black in Space, which is about the first black astronaut. “Said the astronaut, ‘I did it. I finally got away from all these white people,'” quipped Ruffin.
Moving on to politics, Meyers said that Democratic presidential candidate Joe Biden has won 86 percent of African-American primary votes thus far. “Black people have given Joe Biden a resounding,” said Ruffin before loudly sighing.
She added that she planned to vote “the same way all black people vote.” Ruffin explained, “I’m gonna call in sick, drive 50 miles to my nearest polling place, have the lady tell me my name is not on the list, insist that it is, show her my voter registration card, shut her up, stand in line for seven hours and then vote for someone who may or may not keep their promises to black people. That’s democracy.”
The host set up another joke by explaining that Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh made the court’s cafeteria add pizza to its menu, which has been described as “just below Pizza Hut and just above the average gas station offering.” Ruffin replied, “You know what they say. Pizza is like sex. Even when it’s bad, Brett Kavanaugh will still try to force it on you.”
At the end of the segment, Hagel and Ruffin asked Meyers to tell a joke. Despite his hesitations, he explained that The Cheesecake Factory is coming out with a new ice cream flavor with their cheesecake. “So if you want cheesecake and you want ice cream, you’re probably on your period,” he said.
The women gasped, so Meyers tried to redeem himself with another joke. After explaining that a woman ended up acting as the getaway driver when her online date robbed a bank, he added, “She’s over 30, so she’s gonna try to make it work.”
Watch the full segment below.
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