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“Donald Trump is the only person who thinks that the best way to distract from a scandal is to start an even bigger scandal,” said Noah on Monday’s Daily Show. “If you’re going to accuse a former president of committing a major federal crime, at least show that you have some appreciation for the gravity of what you’re doing.” He suggested that Trump should have called a press conference rather than tweeting.
Noah also mocked Trump for misspelling the word “tap” as “tapp.” He said, “How are you going to take on a two-term president if you can’t even handle a three-letter word?” According to Noah, this is now officially the way we all have to spell tap, because the extra “p” is for pussy.
“No one needs to spy on Donald Trump, you just need to follow him on Twitter,” said Noah. He also joked that Obama wasn’t the one to tap Trump’s phones, it was The Daily Show.
He played fake audio of Trump’s calls, including him prank calling The New York Times and hanging up on daughter Tiffany.
Colbert had been worried that Trump’s speech at Congress last week meant that the president had “sold the time share in Crazytown,” but his early morning weekend tweets reassured Colbert that Trump was back. “Who wakes up that angry?” said Colbert, pointing out Trump’s 6:35 a.m. time stamp and suggesting that Trump start the day with a bran muffin filled with Xanax.
With Trump’s tweet about Obama wiretapping him, Colbert said, “The White House had to set their sign back to 0,” showing a sign that read, “The president has worked 0 days without a Twitter freakout.”
As he showed James Clapper denying Trump’s allegations, Colbert joked that Clapper also revealed the NSA is working on Trump-canceling earphones to hear Trump less, not more.
Some news reports said that Trump went on his Twitter rant against Obama because he was in a bad mood that Jeff Sessions had recused himself from the Russia investigation. One report said that staffers tried to put Trump in a better mood by talking about his updated travel ban. “Oooo, look at this shiny travel ban, said Colbert,” dangling his keys like he was talking to a baby. “Does the big angry man want to split up some Muslim families? I see a smile.”
In response to Trump’s tweet calling Obama wiretapping him McCarthyism, Corden said he doesn’t think there is any way Trump “knows what McCarthyism is” and that Trump actually was referring to actress Melissa McCarthy.
“Right now we are this close to Trump putting tin foil on his head and shouting ‘Try reading my thoughts now Obama,'” added Corden.
“He didn’t discover a wire tap he just read about it [on Breitbart] and believed it,” said Corden with amazement before yelling out, “Someone quick write a fake news story about Trump resigning.”
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