Perhaps taking inspiration from John Oliver’s expletive laden rant on Sunday, Oscar-winning director Michel Hazanavicius (The Artist, The Search) went on Facebook late Tuesday to offer his own, sexually-explicit, message to ISIS in the wake of Friday’s Paris attacks.
“Men and Women of the Islamic State: So that’s it, it’s official, you’re waging war on us,” he began. “What’s frustrating is that you have no uniforms, no distinctive marks. We don’t know how to recognize you, and thus we don’t have anyone to fight against — though I hope such frustration doesn’t lead us to finger the wrong man. Yet if each death is, without a doubt, a sign of victory for you, you must know that you’re not about to defeat us. It’s even impossible. Because whatever you do, you will not change us.”
The letter, penned in French, then took a rather more carnal turn.
“Here in France, what we love is life. And the pleasures that go with it,” he wrote. “For us, between being born and dying as late as possible, the main idea is to f––, laugh, eat, play, f––, drink, read, take a nap, f––, talk, eat, argue, paint, f––, take a walk, do some gardening, read, f––, give, f––, sleep, watch movies, scratch our balls, fart to make our friends laugh, but above all to f––, and eventually get a nice little handjob. We are the nation of pleasure, more than one of morals. One day, we may even name a plaza after Monica Lewinsky, and that will make us laugh.”
Offering his thoughts on the outcome of the deadly terror attacks, the director said France would, thanks to the Islamic State, be more united.
“We will understand that these fundamental values are in danger,” he said. “And we will love them and make them live even more. Together. This is what fraternite is.”
Concluded Hazanavicius, who is married to Berenice Bejo: “Of course, we will not win either. People will die for nothing. Others will decide to back Le Pen, Assad or Putin to get rid of you, and we may lose two times over because of that. But you will not win. And those who remain will continue to f––, to drink, to have dinner together, to remember those who have died, and to f––.”
For Hazanavicius‘ even fruitier transcript in French, click here.