Michele Bachmann Quits GOP Campaign After Iowa Loss, Her Eyelashes Need Rest (Poll)

In Michele Bachmann’s post Iowa Caucus press conference on Jan 4, the Minnesota congresswoman — who placed dead last in Tuesday night’s results — announced that she is suspending her campaign.

“I have decided to step aside,” said Bachmann. “I will forever be gratetul to the state (of Iowa), and its people,” she said, adding that she would “continue fighting to [defeat] Obama’s agenda of socialism.”

So what really did her campaign in? According to some comedians, pundits and body language experts, it was her laughably long eyelash extensions. Her lash thickness and length even caused some observers to wonder if her beauty role model was Tammy Faye Baker.

NEWS: Iowa Caucus Coverage Goes to Fox News in Cable Ratings Race

Body language expert Carol Kinsey Goman — the author of The Nonverbal Advantage, analyzed Bachmann’s body language for the Washington Post after the New Hamphire debate and immediately zeroed in on those camel lashes.  

“Bachmann’s only body language error may have been a cosmetic one: her decision to wear false eyelashes. Researchers who analyze politicians’ blink rate find that fast blinkers rarely win elections. Blink rates increase under stress, and they signal a candidate’s nonverbal reaction to pressure. While [Mitt] Romney has a fairly low blink rate, Bachmann has a moderately high one, and the false eyelashes she wore during the debate made her blinks much more obvious than those of her competitors.”

POST: Michele Bachmann’s Exit from GOP Race Sparks Comedic Reactions

And as every woman who has worn false lashes knows, those darn things can get very heavy after a day or two, causing your eyes to blink more often and get red and tired easily.

We have to think that Michele’s eyelashes will be relieved she’s quitting the campaign. Eyelash experts warn that wearing glued on false eyelash extensions — even the ones applied individually — for extended periods of time  will eventually break and damage one’s natural lashes and make them even sparser.

Actresses who have gone a whole awards season wearing expensive lash extensions have regretted the high price (real lash loss) they paid for glamour.

Besides which, glamour really has no place on the grueling campaign trail. We can just hear those Iowa housewives tittering about Michele’s silly clown lashes at neighborhood coffee klatches and meet-n-greets 

And it wasn’t just the eyelashes. Bachmann also wore gobs of shimmery brown eyeshadow, heavy eyeliner and white frosted powder under her well-plucked and pencilled brows. All in all, great for Happy Hour but way too much makeup for a serious presidential candidate.

We recommend that Michele take some time off, invest in a good eyelash oil or perhaps buy some Latisse that increases lash growth to get her own lashes going strong again.