Full Frontal‘s Samantha Bee was not impressed by Jeff Sessions’ testimony in front of Congress this week, referring to it as a “Southern-fried snoozefest” when compared to Comey Day.
She did not appreciate Sessions’ “folksy bullshit and selective amnesia” but said a moment that did make her sit up and take notice was when Sen. Kamala Harris questioned the attorney general.
“The folksy prevarication elf had just drawled us all into a coma when we were suddenly jolted awake by a fast-talking lady lawyer,” said Bee. Harris’ line of questioning made Sessions nervous, and Bee had an explanation as to why.
“You have to understand that about a third of Jeff’s RAM is dedicated to not saying the N-word, which just slows the whole system down,” said Bee. “And that goes up to two-thirds when a smart woman of color is lobbing questions at him like a tennis ball launcher.”
Bee pointed out that Sessions had no problem responding to Harris’ question about which policy he was using to refuse to answer when an “old white Democrat” asked a similar question.
The host called out John McCain for interrupting Harris and went after former Trump aide Jason Miller for criticizing Harris for her line of questioning.
“Of course, deplorable Twitter and CNN’s paid Trump bots have a word for precise, methodical questioning,” said Bee, cutting to Jason Miller saying on CNN, “I think she was hysterical.”
“Oh, f—k off, you goateed tomato emoji.” Bee said. “The guy whose master [Trump] starts every morning rage-tweeting conspiracy slander while working a well-done steak out of his colon does not get to call anyone hysterical.”
The Full Frontal host compared Sessions’ testimony to the O.J. Simpson trial: filled with backstabbing and illustrating a deep divide in the nation. Displaying a photograph of Sen. Harris next to Sarah Paulson as Marcia Clark, she added, “And of course, everyone will unfairly shit on the female prosecutor.”
Over on CBS’ Late Show, Stephen Colbert brought up Miller’s treatment of Harris in his monologue about Sessions’ testimony.
“Senator Harris wanted to know the concrete details of Sessions’ secret policy about secrets, and that did not sit well with other members of the committee,” said Colbert. He played the clip of McCain interrupting Harris and commented that Harris had a lot of questions.
“Let me change that — she had a lot of the first half of questions,” said Colbert, showing Sessions taking a long time to answer questions and scolding Harris, saying he doesn’t want to be rushed. “It’s the only kind of rushin‘ he won’t engage with,” joked Colbert.
Turning to footage of Jason Miller accusing Harris of being hysterical, Colbert said, “Really? Really, if anyone was hysterical maybe it was the old man saying that her questions were scaring him.” He did a Sessions impersonation yelling about her aggressive line of questions and being scared of how many verbs she was using.
“I have the vapors, Beauregard. Bring me a fainting couch and a mint julep,” Colbert shouted.