Stephen Colbert kicked off Tuesday’s episode with a Trump and Oscars joke wrapped into one: “Any chance there’s a mistake and Moonlight is the president?”
After Trump addressed Congress on Tuesday, Colbert’s Late Show went live to discuss Trump’s speech, mixed in with the events of Sunday.
Colbert was excited to recap the president’s remarks, but Trump didn’t even get up to the podium before the host had to bring up old jokes: “So many handshakes, such little hands.”
During the episode, the host explained that Trump’s speech wasn’t technically a State of the Union address, “because I think in this timeline, the Confederacy won.”
Democratic women wore white to the event in honor of women’s suffrage, Colbert said, “while the Republicans were white in honor of who elected them.”
The theme of the evening was “renewal of the American spirit,” Colbert said, “which really just sounds like a Chinese bootleg of ‘Make America Great Again.'”
On Trump’s statement that he will rid the government of “non-essential federal workers,” Colbert joked, “so Kellyanne Conway is out? Is she gone now?”
Colbert again brought up Trump’s nonexistent Sweden attack as well, adding to the president’s comments on foreign threats, “and just because we haven’t seen the attacks in Sweden doesn’t mean they did not happen. Invisible terrorists are everywhere.”
Colbert didn’t quite see eye-to-eye on Trump’s comment that all problems in America can be fixed. “Well, there’s one problem we can’t solve for four years, but other than that, I agree with you.”
“I think, we can all agree on one thing: one down, seven to go,” Colbert concluded reluctantly.
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The late-night host has gone live with his political coverage before, with his election-night special and after the Democratic and Republican National Conventions. He kicked this episode off with a cartoon reimagining of the president rehearsing his speech:
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