‘Eastbound & Down’s’ Kenny Powers Pens Open Letter to Tim Tebow

What does Eastbound & Down‘s Kenny Powers have in common with Denver Broncos quarterback Tim Tebow? 

A lot apparently.

The character, who is played by comedian and actor Danny McBride, wrote an open letter via the website Grantland comparing himself to the God-loving football player, who he calls “The Gifted Young Athlete.” 

On the show, Powers is a former star baseball pitcher whose bad attitude forces him to return to his hometown as a substitute physical education teacher.

“The more I read about Tim Tebow, the more I see similarities to my own life story,” McBride-as-Powers says at the start of his missive, before pointing out that both have overcome doubters who said they’d never make it. 

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“Next thing you know, there are folks calling it a miracle. Maybe the Gifted Young Athlete is blessed by the Almighty, they say. Perhaps he really does have a f–king angel on his shoulder.” 

But, it’s not all smooth sailing. Success, according to Powers, brings more naysayers. 

“There are those who simply don’t like the idea of a man being favored by God,” writes Powers. “They feel his special relationship with Jesus diminishes their own somehow. If Jesus loves the Gifted Young Athlete, what does he think of the rest of us? Bunch of assholes? So the haters multiply, and soon the resentment reaches a boiling point. And that’s when the torches and pitchforks and long knives come out. Yes, the world is given a savior but they choose to crucify him instead.”

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So what should Tebow do?

“Don’t kill yourself trying to make sense of all the madness,” recommends Powers … and, “Make no apologies, either. Those are for weak people, and the haters will hate you anyway. It’s not our fault we’re awesome, playboy. It’s Jesus’s. As the gorgeous bitches in the makeup commercials used to say, ‘Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.'”