John Oliver Closes Down Church Because of Sperm Donation
"Setting up churches is all fun and games until someone gets sperm in an envelope."
Mega reverend John Oliver and his wife, Wanda Jo (Rachel Dratch), went on Last Week Tonight to tell Our Lady of Perpetual Exemption fans that they were shutting down their televangelist church.
The duo talked about how they received tens of thousands of dollars, mostly in single dollar bills. "This is not a strip club," scolded Dratch. They also received Jonny Flynn bobbleheads and a four-foot carved wooden penis with a sign, "Rub this for the seed you seek."
Oliver explained that the reason they were shutting down the church was that they received four packages containing jars and vials of semen.
"When someone sends you jizz through the mail it's time to stop doing whatever you are doing," said Dratch. "We are shutting this shit down," said Oliver. "Setting up churches is all fun and games until someone gets sperm in an envelope."
The team is sending all of their money to Doctors Without Borders, but Oliver said if people are still interested in sending money to a "fake church" then "send it to Scientology."