Jon Stewart Outraged by NFL’s Ongoing Domestic-Violence Scandal

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“Actual vikings don’t treat their children like that”

As the NFL continues to deal with an ongoing domestic-violence scandal, including child abuse charges against Adrian Peterson and Anheuser-Busch bashing the league for its handling of recent incidents, Jon Stewart took a few moments on Wednesday night’s Daily Show to express his outrage at the latest developments.

He began by recapping the Ray Rice situation and the Panthers’ various decisions about DE Greg Hardy, who was convicted of assault this July, a course of action Stewart said represents “the kind of firm decision-making we’ve come to expect from people who don’t know what the f— they’re doing.”

Stewart continued to condemn the NFL after he noted that the league has appointed several advisors, including a former head of Manhattan’s sex crimes unit.

“You know your business model is in rough shape when you need to appoint your own, in-house special victims unit,” he said.

He also called out Peterson for claiming he’s “not a child abuser” despite hitting his 4-year-old son with a tree branch.

“You can’t do something to a 4-year-old that you’re not allowed to do to a 300-pound lineman in a helmet and pads … I assume that would be a penalty,” he said.

“Actual vikings don’t treat their children like that,” Stewart added.

He also found Anheuser-Busch condemning the league bizarre, saying, “A company that sells alcohol is the moral touchstone of the NFL. Maybe one of the only substances that is proven likely to increase the likelihood of domestic abuse. That company is saying to the NFL, ‘Uh, you guys got a real problem here.’”

In fact, things have gotten so bad, Stewart said, that the league would probably be relieved to have the distraction of openly gay player Michael Sam taking the field.

Watch the full video below, including a hilarious pirate impression from Stewart.