Kate Moss: I Spent Years Crying Over Johnny Depp, Hated Posing Nude, Never Did Heroin

Kate Moss Johnny Depp 1998 - P 2012
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Kate Moss Johnny Depp 1998 - P 2012

The supermodel reveals her broken heart, deep insecurities and lack of professional guidance in a revealing new profile.

Supermodel Kate Moss opens up to Vanity Fair about her insecurities, her modeling career and her love affair with Johnny Depp.

During their romance (1994-1998), Moss says she finally felt taken care of.

“There’s nobody that’s ever really been able to take care of me," she says. "Johnny did for a bit. I believed what he said. Like if I said, ‘What do I do?,’ he’d tell me. And that’s what I missed when I left. I really lost that gauge of somebody I could trust. Nightmare. Years and years of crying. Oh, the tears!??”

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Depp and Moss were the It Couple and Moss was far more famous than the actor in those years. Together they attended several Cannes Film Festivals and his Donnie Brasco and Don Juan De Marco premieres. They even walked the red carpet at the1995 Golden Globe Awards.

Depp used to go backstage when she did fashion runway shows in New York, London and Paris. Asked by this reporter why he was backstage at a Calvin Klein show in those years, Depp smiled and said, “To be with my girl.”

The couple also made tabloid headlines. Most notably when, in the wee hours of morning on Sept. 13, 1994, police were called to New York's Mark Hotel, where they found Depp and Moss sitting in their trashed, $1,200-per-night presidential suite. Depp blamed the mess on an armadillo he said was hiding in his closet but the creature was never found. The couple was billed $9,767 for the damages, according to People.

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Besides her tears shed for Depp, Moss also tells Vanity Fair that she hated doing the 1992 Calvin Klein photo shoot with Mark Wahlberg, then known as Marky Mark.

“I had a nervous breakdown when I was 17 or 18, when I had to go and work with Marky Mark and Herb Ritts,” she says. “It didn’t feel like me at all. I felt really bad about straddling this buff guy. I didn’t like it. I couldn’t get out of bed for two weeks. I thought I was going to die. It was just anxiety. Nobody takes care of you mentally. There’s a massive pressure to do what you have to do... I didn’t like it. But it was work, and I had to do it.”?

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She also recalls being very uncomfortable and insecure posing nude when she was only 16.

Of her infamous photo shot for British alternative fashion magazine The Face, Moss says. “I see a 16-year-old now, and to ask her to take her clothes off would feel really weird. But they were like, 'If you don’t do it, then we’re not going to book you again.' So I’d lock myself in the toilet and cry and then come out and do it. I never felt very comfortable about it. There’s a lot of boobs. I hated my boobs! Because I was flat-chested. And I had a big mole on one. That picture of me running down the beach -- I’ll never forget doing that, because I made the hairdresser, who was the only man on the shoot, turn his back.”

Despite being a poster girl for Heroin Chic, the trend of skinny, debauched looking girls that was in fashion in the mid-'90s, Moss never did the drug and says her her low weight had to do with working so much.

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“I had never even taken heroin -- it was nothing to do with me at all,” Moss says. "I was thin, but that’s because I was doing shows, working really hard. At that time, I was staying at a B and B in Milan, and you’d get home from work and there was no food. You’d get to work in the morning, there was no food. Nobody took you out for lunch when I started... But I was never anorexic. They knew it wasn’t true -- otherwise I wouldn’t be able to work.”??

Given her youth, lack of guidance and her fame, it's a miracle Moss made it through.