Late-Night Hosts Address Michael Flynn Guilty Plea
Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon offered up Flynn-inspired holiday songs, while Seth Meyers and Trevor Noah mocked Trump’s Twitter mishap.
On Monday's late-night shows, the hosts finally addressed former national security advisor Michael Flynn's pleading guilty to lying to the FBI about being in contact with Russia.
On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert explained the holiday spirit that has taken over Congress. “Well, it feels like Christmas is here courtesy of Robert Mueller coming down the White House chimney with a sack full of subpoenas,” Colbert joked in his opening monologue.
“Mr. President, I got you an early Christmas gift too. I just hope they’re not too big on you,” the late-night host said, before showing miniature handcuffs.
Apart from pleading guilty, Flynn agreed to “cooperate with the special counsel’s office.” “Woo hoo! He is singing like a canary,” Colbert quipped before adding, “Well, actually, more like an angry shaved eagle.”
Emphasizing that Flynn is “turning on his old friends,” Colbert said that is telling of a famous saying, “It’s like the old saying goes, ‘Snitches get significant time off their federal prison sentence.' ” If anyone is wondering who exactly Flynn decided to name in his plea deal, Colbert sang, “It’s beginning to look a lot like Kushner.”
Kushner is believed to have ordered Flynn to contact Russia after the election. “Oh, that three-star general must have been honored to get orders from a one-star son-in-law.” It is also reported that the White House fears they’re being recorded, something Colbert assured was addressed by Flynn after he went to get them an “edible arrangement” of fruit and microphones.
“Many people say this situation can’t get worse, to which Trump said, ‘Hold my beer,'” Colbert joked, before reading Trump’s recent tweet saying he fired Flynn for lying to the FBI and vice president, a tweet that could prove an admission to obstruction of justice. After it was argued that Trump’s lawyer, John Dowd, wrote the tweet, Colbert explained administration supporters are calling the defense “sloppy and unfortunate,” words that Colbert joked are Eric and Don Jr.’s “Secret Service code names.”
Colbert also took a moment to celebrate the “Holiday collusion season,” with carolers singing “Robert Mueller’s 12 Days of Christmas.” “On the first day of Christmas, Bob Mueller gave to me; A Michael Flynn guilty plea,” the carolers sang of Flynn’s recent charge. Later on in the song, the carolers also mentioned, “Two officials flipped” and “Three panicked Trumps.”
On CBS’s The Late Late Show, James Corden also took time to mock Dowd’s defense of writing Trump’s questionable tweet. “Any time I tweet something that you guys like, that was me. Anytime a tweet proves I’m guilty of a crime, that was Reggie,” Corden joked of his show’s band leader.
Corden argued that a more “believable lie” would've been, “Eric Trump got a hold of his dad’s iPad.”
When Trump tweeted in defense of Flynn that nothing happened to Hillary Clinton when she lied to the FBI, Corden was quick to retort, “She lost a presidential election to Donald Trump! I mean nothing happened? She wrote an entire book called, ‘What Happened.’ That’s what happened!”
After noticing former FBI head James Comey's suggestive Instagram post about the president, Corden argued that it is telling of the government. “The president posts policy on Twitter. High-ranking officials troll the president on Instagram, then it all goes to Congress for a final Facebook post. Just as the Founding Fathers intended.
Over at Late Night With Seth Meyers, the host took “A Closer Look” at Flynn’s guilty plea, mocking Trump’s possible obstruction of justice.
“Man, he is so bad at this,” the late-night host said of Trump. “He’s like one of those burglars who leaves his driver’s license behind, except he tweets his driver’s license.”
“If Trump somehow serves out his full term, I wouldn’t be surprised if this was his farewell letter,” Meyers said, then showing a childish letter that read, “Hello Mister Police. You could have stopped me. I gave all the clues.”
Meyers also addressed Dowd’s defense. “You basically admitted that your client committed a crime. That’d be like if Johnny Cochran got up and said, ‘The glove does fit. My client’s full of shit.'”
During The Daily Show, Trevor Noah was quick to question Flynn’s admission that he lied after four days on the job.
“He lied to the FBI on day four of his new job? Day four? That’s so early! You don’t even know where the good pooping bathroom is yet,” Noah said.
Noah also argued that the president hasn’t realized the consequences that can spur from social media.
“When will millennials learn that the wrong tweet can cost them their job?” Noah said. The Daily Show host then proceeded to explain that it’s fortunate the president “pays his lawyer a lot,” after the tweet mistake. “That’s a lawyer. If he can’t get you off, he’ll frame himself for the crime. That’s what I’m paying for,” Noah quipped.
Like Meyers, Noah referenced Cochran’s glove defense during the O.J. Simpson trial. “That’s like if Johnnie Cochran had tried the glove on himself, and he’d be like, ‘It fits perfectly, because it’s my murdering glove!'”
Jimmy Fallon also poked fun at Mueller’s investigation during The Tonight Show, dressing as Bruce Springsteen as he sang “Robert Mueller’s Comin’ to Town.”