Late-Night Hosts Tease Trump Over TV, Soda Habits Revealed in New York Times

Stephen Colbert Late Show Screengrab - H 2017
Screengrab/The Late Show

Stephen Colbert and James Corden focused on the shows the president reportedly watches, while Fallon, Meyers and Klepper quipped about Trump’s “power fuel” in Diet Coke.

The New York Times recently published an insightful glimpse into Donald Trump’s daily life, giving late-night hosts the opportunity to address the startling claims that the president reportedly watches up to eight hours of television a day and drinks a dozen cans of Diet Coke. 

On the Late Show, Colbert described the NYT feature as a story that “paints a portrait of an angry, paranoid man, constantly under attack.” The story described Trump as remaining calm about Robert Mueller’s investigation, writing that Trump simply says, “That’s life” regarding the investigation. “Yes, it’s life. But you could plead that down to 30 years if you rat out Don, Jr.,” Colbert quipped.

The article also reports that the president drinks “a dozen Diet Cokes each day.” “Which explains Diet Coke’s new slogan, ‘Diet Coke: 12 is too many!'” Colbert joked, as he showed a mock ad for the soda.

Colbert also addressed the report’s claims that Trump suggested his aides view each day as “an episode in television show in which he vanquishes rivals.” “Those TV shows, ‘How to Get Away With Treason,’ followed by ‘Grabs Anatomy,'” Colbert joked, showing mock television ads and saying those shows were “already canceled.”

The Times also reported that Trump “hate watches” Don Lemon on CNN. “Don Lemon? What is it about Don Lemon? Is it that he’s so citrusy?” Colbert said. Trump spoke out against the article’s claims Monday, tweeting that he never watches Don Lemon, because he is the “dumbest man on television.” “Don Lemon, who I have never seen, is horrible. Not that I would know, which I totally do, hashtag ‘Who’s Don Lemon?'” Colbert said in a Trump voice.

Colbert proceeded to discuss the moment Jeanine Pirro, the host of Fox News Channel’s Justice With Jeanine, visited Trump at the White House for an hour, “whipping up the president against Robert Mueller.” “It’s his dream come true,” Colbert said. “A live performance of Fox News. In the commercial break, they even sold him a self-lubricating catheter.”

Over on The Tonight Show, Jimmy Fallon was quick to quip about the Times' claims of Trump’s avid TV watching and love of Diet Coke. “Sounds less like a president, more like a college kid who just got home for winter break,” Fallon joked. “Depending on how many [Diet Cokes] he’s had, it really changes Trump’s behavior.”

The late-night host then showed a montage of Trump’s public speeches that suggested his behavior changed as he consumed more soda. Fallon dubbed the montage “The 12 Diet Cokes of Christmas.”  

Over at The Late Late Show, James Corden also mocked Trump’s alleged television screen time. “I don’t want to say Trump watches too much TV, but he just asked Congress for a $10 million budget increase for the NCIS team,” the late-night host joked.

After Trump lashed out on Twitter, denying that he watches “4-8 hours of television a day,” Corden poked fun at the president, saying he also tweeted, “I also never watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta every Sunday night, especially now that Phaedra is off the show and won’t make Marlo a full-time housewife.” Corden continued the mock tweets, joking that the president urged that there was “Bad real housewifing” on the show.

The Late Late Show host also shared his own quips about the president's alleged love for Diet Coke. “Even the Wolf of Wall Street was like, ‘Dude, that’s a lot of coke,'” Corden joked. 

During The Opposition, Jordan Klepper comically counterargued the Times claims about the president. “The New York Times has tried to slander Trump before,” Klepper began arguing. “First it was allegations of sexual misconduct, then the Russia hoax. And now they’re trying to bring him down by accurately describing his lifestyle.”

“It’s despicable. These lies are paper thin,” Klepper continued, as he attempted to rip up the Times. After failing to, the Comedy Central host retracted his previous statement, “The lies are so thick.”

Klepper then joked about the judgment the president has received from “the left side” regarding his alleged Diet Coke consumption. “But, as usual, the left is just thirsty for a scandal, claiming that a dozen Diet Cokes is an insane amount of artificial, sugary liquid to guzzle. Yeah, right! Does this look insane?” Klepper asked, as he proceeded to lift a bag full of Diet Coke liquid.

“That’s 144 ounces of president fuel,” the late-night host joked. “Trump is shocking his renal glands into submission.”

Klepper then commented on the long hours Trump spends “in front of a television.” “Where’s he gonna spend it? Behind the television?” Klepper joked. Adding, “Dumb reporters don’t even know how a TV works.”

The late-night host also argued against quips that the president spends more time watching television than being president. “It’s how he learns about his enemies and how to Say Yes to the Dress. So, nice try New York ‘Crimes.’ You tried to paint the president as a soda-chugging TV addict. What I see is a regimented executive bringing highly-caffeinated attention to hours of daily news prep. I see a leader. Actually, I see four liters,” Klepper said, lifting the Diet Coke bag once again. 

During Late Night, Seth Meyers took a “Closer Look” at Trump’s alleged screen time. “Who’s letting him watch that much TV? Even Netflix checks in on you after three hours,” Meyers argued.