Late-Night Shows Celebrate Doug Jones Victory, "Black Women Who Saved America"
"As a black woman, I just have two things I want to say about last night's election: 'You're welcome,'" said 'Late Night' writer Amber Ruffin.
The late-night talk shows taped Tuesday's shows before the results of last night's Alabama Senate race, but that didn't stop the hosts from talking about senator-elect Doug Jones' shocking win over Republican Roy Moore on Wednesday.
Everyone from Jimmy Fallon to Stephen Colbert had something to say about Moore's loss, which was aided by the overwhelming turnout of African-American women for Jones.
On The Tonight Show, Fallon welcomed correspondent Yamaneika Saunders onstage, who joked that her back was hurting. "Oh no, your back is hurting?" Fallon prompted. "Yeah, every black woman's back is hurting — from carrying the election last night!" she cheered.
"This is the perfect example of black girl magic," she explained. "After the 2016 election, we were like, you know what, 'Sit down, we got this.' I mean black women get it done. Y'all saw Hidden Figures right? We sent your asses to space!"
"You showed up [to vote]," Fallon told her. "Oh yeah, we showed up like we thought Barack [Obama], Idris [Elba] and Denzel [Washington] were going to be there," she joked.
Seth Meyers also brought out one of his Late Night writers, Amber Ruffin, to explain Moore's loss. "As a black woman, I just have two things I want to say about last night's election: 'You're welcome,'" she said. "Now, while all of America was on the edge of their seats waiting to see if an accused pedophile would get elected to the United States Senate, 98 percent of black women in Alabama voted for the other guy, because as my dad says, 'Black women laugh and joke, but we don't play.'"
Moore has been accused of sexual misconduct with teens, one of whom was 14, when he was in his 30s.
Ruffin also praised the women who voted. "Do you know what these women go through every day? Those women woke up yesterday and were like, 'I've got to deal with systemic racism, the gender pay gap, the school to prison pipeline, humidity and now y'all want me to save America?'"
She also referenced Wednesday's news that Omarosa Manigault Newman, first known from her appearances on NBC's The Apprentice and one of President Donald Trump's most prominent African-American supporters, is leaving her job at the White House next month. "P.S. you know that's why Omarosa got fired today. Trump was like, 'You promised me the black lady vote!' And she was probably like, 'I don't know any!' So not only did we get rid of Moore, we got rid of Omarosa in one night!"
When Meyers took “A Closer Look” at the election result, he couldn’t help but take some jabs at the president, explaining how he wasn’t entirely convinced of the president’s congratulatory tweet to Jones.
“There is no way Donald Trump wrote that tweet. He probably went to the bathroom and forgot his phone and someone else said, ‘This is our chance! Write something decent!” Meyers joked. Meyers also later thanked the African-American voters for saving the country from “the nightmare of a demagogue and accused child molester serving in the Senate.”
During Jimmy Kimmel Live! the late-night host shared his excitement over the election results. “A Republican losing to a Democrat in Alabama is like a grizzly bear losing to a fish. It just doesn’t happen,” Kimmel said. “It is kind of depressing that in 2017, barely not electing an alleged pedophile to the senate is something to celebrate, but we’ll take what we can get at this point.”
Like Meyers, Kimmel also failed to believe Trump wrote the “graceful” tweet about the election, arguing that Ivanka must’ve grabbed his phone, while “the president was dipping a chicken finger in ketchup.”
Over at The Late Show, host Colbert reminded viewers who the "real loser" in the election was. "The real loser here is Donald Trump," he said. He shared Trump's tweet, in which the president wrote, "Congratulations to Doug Jones on a hard fought victory. The write-in votes played a very big factor, but a win is a win. The people of Alabama are great, and the Republicans will have another shot at this seat in a very short period of time. It never ends!"
"Yes, it never ends. but Roy Moore's political career? That appears to be over," Colbert said to loud cheers from the audience.
Later, Colbert mocked Moore’s declaration to “wait on God” when it comes to a possible recount. “I can’t help but wonder, is God really going to save Roy Moore’s candidacy?” Colbert asked, before a talking image of God appeared on the studio’s roof. “No way, Jose!” the image yelled. After Colbert asked God if there would be a recount, the image begged to differ. “I got two words for you Stephen: Not a chance.” “That’s actually three words,” Colbert interjected, with the God image retorting, “Oh yeah. I’m not so good with numbers. I still don’t get that Holy Trinity thing. I’m me, myself and a ghost? Who wrote this, M. Night Shyamalan?” The mock God continued to reiterate that Moore didn’t need to rely on him for the election. “He can perform his own miracles, losing to a democrat in Alabama!”
Colbert continued to take jabs at Moore’s loss by debuting a Western ballad called, “The Legend of Roy Moore.” “A man who rode across the land, touching teens with his hands,” the singer sang in the montage reel of Moore riding his horse.
On The Daily Show, host Trevor Noah went biblical. Calling Moore "cowboy Roman Polanski," the late-night host said his loss to Jones was "an act of God."
"Alabama just went Democrat. If there ever was an act of God, this is it," Noah said. "[Moore's] like, 'God has a plan.' God is like, 'I did the thing!' If I was God I would be so pissed like, 'Dude, I gave you the biggest sign. I literally parted a red sea!'"
Later on The Opposition, Jordan Klepper jokingly questioned the election results. “Alabama went to a Democrat. Are you f---ing kidding me? The reddest state. They’re so red, they only recently started using the pronoun ‘she,” Klepper joked.
“Do we need to take a moment and really analyze the type of person we’re hitching our wagon to?” Klepper asked, before arguing that “Someone cost Roy Moore this election.” Klepper then proceeded to name his personal list of entities responsible for Moore's loss: Steve Bannon, the D.C. government "swamp," Horse twitter and Harvey Weinstein, who “activated a cabal of silence-breaking women who mistakenly voted against Roy Moore.” “But how could women keep Roy Moore out of the senate? I mean, it’s not a mall,” Klepper joked.
The late-night host then named the prime suspect as black women. “They colluded to take him down. This is voter suppression.” In conclusion, Klepper argued: “Powerful, organized black women are coming for us and we need to be prepared ... If we want to make America great again, we need to listen to black women.”
Meanwhile, Full Frontal host Samantha Bee credited “sad, little loser” Moore’s loss to his accusers and their “bravery.”
“This victory belongs to one small group of people: the women who came forward against Roy Moore. They endured horrific treatment, from everyone from their neighbors up to the president of the United States. And they had no idea whether it would make a difference. Their bravery changed the world last night. I hope that they are having a great day because thanks to them, Roy Moore sure isn’t.”