'New Celebrity Apprentice' Contestant Carrie Keagan Discusses Her Book 'Everybody Curses, I Swear!'

Courtesy of Carrie Keagan
Carrie Keagan

The late-night host opens up about turning down an offer from Donald Trump to stump for him and the best celebrity blowjobs.

While promoting their 2005 documentary, The Aristocrats, Penn Jillette and Paul Provenza sat down with NGTV’s Carrie Keagan, who asked them who was the most foul-mouthed interview in the film. “Carrie Fisher,” Jillette responded without hesitation, “because she brings in real people who really are related to her. When she talks about Eddie Fisher blowing a goat, it’s astonishing!” Provenza was quick to add, “And Mickey Rooney, huge with fisting.”

It was just another day on the job for Keagan, who partnered with producer Kourosh Taj in 2007 to create NGTV, an uncensored YouTube channel where celebrities like Jennifer Lawrence, Ben Affleck and Denzel Washington can let their hair down and curse like drunken sailors amid the usual series of endless junket interviews in which they’re routinely asked stultifying questions like, “What inspired you to take this role?”

“It was definitely a shot to the system,” Keagan tells The Hollywood Reporter. The 36-year-old honey-blond host hilariously chronicles her journey from ridiculed, prematurely top-heavy Catholic School girl (joking about her breasts is part of her shtick) to potty-mouthed celebrity interviewer in her new book, Everybody Curses, I Swear! (St. Martin's Press, Jan. 10). “What I was doing was 100 percent comedy-driven and 100 percent raunchy. The publicists and the film studios were a little bit wary, and it took a little while of us working our way in and getting the trust of all of those people.”

In the book, she praises the late author Jackie Collins, who tells of a service in Hollywood that offers designer oral sex, employing what they claim are techniques borrowed from actors like Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston and Megan Fox to service their clients. “It’s crazy to me that there was a company that was allowing you to hire the ‘Megan Fox blowjob experience.’ And what was happening wasn’t that people were upset over it. The Megan Foxes of the world were scared that the casting people weren’t going to cast them based on their fake experience of what this person was giving them.”

Beginning as an Internet backwater, NGTV has since amassed over 2 billion views, launching Keagan to further success like a three-year stint on VH1’s Big Morning Buzz and Bravo After Hours. Her movie work includes low-budget horror titles like Dead 7 and The Fiance, but you might have noticed her cameos in Superbad, The Hangover and Sharknado 4. Starting Monday, she will be appearing on NBC’s The New Celebrity Apprentice with Arnold Schwarzenegger filling in for Donald Trump, who once pursued Keagan as a surrogate during his run for president.

“Obviously I was never going to say yes, but the fact that they asked me is so crazy,” says Keagan, who came under fire for an anti-Trump statement on Buzzfeed earlier this month in which she said the president-elect “represents bigotry, misogyny, racism, classism and hate on a level that we, as a country, regardless of party affiliation, should not tolerate.”

After the network cut ties with Trump in 2015 following his derogatory comments about Mexicans, it was recently announced that his name will remain as an executive producer on Apprentice. Aside from that, showrunners have gone out of their way to de-Trump the program, making it all about Schwarzenegger and the cast of mostly ex-athletes and reality stars.

While accustomed to working in front of the cameras, Keagan found the experience a bit daunting. “It’s a little like going to a nude beach,” she laughs. “You show up and everybody gets naked and shows what they have and what they’re working with. You start to realize this isn’t for everybody. Not everybody wants to be on a nude beach and not everybody should be on a nude beach.”

If Keagan gets her way, she’ll soon be metaphorically putting on a bathing suit. When she appeared on Craig Ferguson’s The Late Late Show in 2014, he surprised the audience by announcing he was “consciously uncoupling” from CBS at the end of the year. The two briefly traded places as he informally auditioned Keagan as his replacement. Since then, meetings with Ferguson and Jimmy Fallon have taken her a few steps closer to her goal, and an announcement making her the first female late-night host since Joan Rivers may be imminent.

“Right now it’s a lot of dudes, and it’s only ever been a lot of dudes,” she says of the male-dominated late-night landscape. “I think it’s just so silly that it hasn’t happened yet, that there’s still a stigma, the age-old thing that women can’t be funny. It’s time for there to be a woman in late night. It just seems so ridiculous, like we’re living in the '70s still.”

When asked what sets her apart from other candidates for a late-night spot, Keagan replies simply, “Girl power. It’s a voice that’s never been there before.”