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On Tuesday’s Late Show, Stephen Colbert addressed Hillary Clinton’s pneumonia, or “as some are calling it, Lunghazi,” he added, before admitting so far he’s the only one making the Benghazi-inspired pun.
“She has been dropping in the polls, and over the weekend, even her immune system turned against her,” said The Late Show host. “No surprise — all the white blood cells are voting for Trump.”
Colbert brought up a Politico article that cited an aide who said the Democratic presidential candidate is not drinking enough water. “You try telling Hillary Clinton she has to drink water,” the source reportedly said.
“Challenge accepted,” Colbert responded, cracking his knuckles.
“Secretary Clinton, what if I told you there was a non-alcoholic beverage you could get free from any faucet, even sometimes from the sky,” Colbert said, holding up a glass of water as if he was doing a commercial. “It’s packed with oxygen, and get this, twice as much hydrogen. And it’s delicious — like a tall glass of unflavored Gatorade. Ah, water. You need it to live.”
“This whole pneumonia saga feeds right into the narrative that Clinton is hiding things and she’s too unhealthy to serve,” Colbert posited. “Hiding her diagnosis makes all those Clinton conspiracies seem true.”
“What else could be true?” asked the host, offering theories like “Is Hillary a blood-drinking extraterrestrial lizard in disguise? If so, she needs to drink more blood, because she is getting dehydrated.”
Then he invited Secretary Cartoon Hillary Clinton onstage so that she could reassure the audience of her clean bill of health. Cartoon Clinton coughed up a cat named “Allergies” during the interview and brought out a bong as an inhaler.
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